Pilgrims' Home

Lost is Found

2011-10-19T16:10:00.001-05:00

I was writing somewhat regularly on THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RIVER, and then I stopped. Actually, I lost the book, and was quite dismayed as I would like to finish the story. I can joyfully say that I found the book and will, again, begin to write my reflections chapter-by-chapter.

9/11 Service Response

2011-09-13T15:56:00.001-05:00

This came from one of our congregational members:

"I wanted to let you know the Swansons thought the 9/11 service was on the mark.... I had a unique experience [afterwards]. We came home, and I turned on the T.V. and they were still reading the names. The names I prayed for [during worship] were read. One in particular was read by his son. I also saw one of the names on the wall I had also prayed for [in worship]- it really made it personal. Thanks for giving us the opportunity to remember them in this way."

Order of Worship for 911 remembrance

2011-09-12T13:08:00.001-05:00

Rehearsing Sunday morning and the days leading up to it...

2011-09-11T21:00:00.001-05:00

PLEASE READ THE PRIOR POSTS BEFORE READING THIS ONE.

Worship is over, and it was an overwhelming service. We had more people in attendance today than any day besides major holidays. Many visitors. We began the service with a reading from Exodus 15, which served as our psalm.

During the service, following announcements, we did a service of remembrance for 9/11. We began with America The Beautiful as the choral anthem, then an introduction to the litany and prayers (see here for the service outline).

The moment of emotion was during a time of readings from the Abrahamic traditions - seeking the healing of the nations. We read from the Jewish Tradition (Isaiah), the Christian Tradition (Matthew 5), and a third text from the Islam Tradition (see yesterday's post for the exact text). I wondered how this would be received, and we made an email announcement on Friday to prepare our worshippers. The faces during the reading seemed more of interest than anxious or disgusted. We ended the 9/11 service with a prayer of remembrance, comfort, and hope, where we prayed, sang Jesus, Remember Me, and then had congregants read pre-distributed names of 9/11 victims.

How we planned for the service:

As I started thinking through why or why not this is important, I began to wrestle with the prophetic voice needed on this day. How do we, as church leaders, lovingly invite our people into seeing the whole world on this day and to pursue the healing of the nations. We also wanted to place a despised people front and center within the bounds of God's desire to seek and save. Muslims are considered foreign, evil, and subjects/objects of war by many in our Western culture today, including many Christians. This is exactly the populations who God pursues in Scripture. They have become the infidel and are full of suspicion and mystery in our evangelical subcultures. "They" cause discomfort.

The pastoral background is coming to light as the days go on: I am an Evangelical Covenant pastor, and my denomination raises the flag of diversity and anti-racism often, yet liturgically this does;t emerge as a primary value. I believe that for our denomination what is really important is expressed in our worship. This is not a criticism of the ECC, but something to celebrate - worship is where we place the most important pieces of our lives. The inclusion of the Muslim text was an attempt to disarm the racism and hatred that has escalated in our larger world and our evangelical sub-worlds. If I, as a pastor, am to lead the people into seeing as God sees - to see with Kingdom eyes, then I believe that disarming our hatred in favor of forgiveness and reconciliation is important - and I believe God can be glorified by including the voice of the foreigner, enemy, and stranger. This is why placing Islam between our theological tradition became so important. Also, we need to beseech God to reveal to many religions that the peace that is named in their scripture, is indeed, fulfilled through Jesus Christ.

Stepping Back - Preparing for Worship from Friday to Sunday morning

There was nothing out of the ordinary in the liturgy, except the reading from a non-Christian tradition. I did not think this a big deal until late last week, and we had been planning the service for some time already. I was quite anxious this week after a congregant made a pretty volatile phone call because they had heard rumor that we would be reading from the Muslim tradition. She was quite furious and somewhat unkind in her words. I try to distance myself when volatile phone calls come, but this one unsettled me in a new way. Why the anger about this? Why the over-arching hatred of Islam? She made several racist-leaning comments - How much of this is racism that we, as the body of Christ, ought to confront? Until this point, I had not included the text to "make a point" or "upset the cart" but simply to place before God muslim people and their scriptures. I was forced to go deep inside myself and ask why keeping this reading is important. I had to ask, is congregational discomfort reason enough to abandon what was a patient and long-considered decision (several weeks)? In many ways, the only "point" I was trying to make was evangelistic - ought we invite the very words of a major religion in front of ourselves and God for the possibility of revelation towards JEsus Christ? (These questions led me to write a predatory email to the congregation looking toward the 9/11 service. You can see that email text below in Saturday evenings post).

I didn't want to continue thinking through this alone; I wanted some real wisdom. On Friday night I made a few phone calls to persons I respect, persons who are both part of our congregation and friends beyond. No one would answer the phone, save one Linda Miller. I began speaking in a rapid tone, and couldn't make sense to myself, let alone to her. I was thinking to the point of emotion. I finally took a breath and said, "I simply need prayers for clarity: Prayers that our church would be ready to pursue the peace of the nations and prayers that if something should change between now and Sunday that the voice would be clear." Linda finally was able to get a word in, and said she was with her small group. They would pray! I made six prior phone calls to voicemails, but the one who answered was with a small group. Praise God.

Saturday

On Saturday afternoon, a friend called. I had left her a detailed message the night before, and she was returning my call. She has done extensive work in inter-faith worship, and she is woman of wisdom and spirit. She told me she was honored to be consulted, and I was similarly honored that she called on a Saturday. We talked about the potential impact of the reading; the boldness that was required to try something like this, and the possible emotional exhaustion for the congregation that could occur due to the insertion of the muslim tradition on an already politically and religiously charged day.

The one thing she raised in my conscience that I had forgotten was the recent killings in Norway. True, 9/11 was fanaticism in the name of Allah, but the killings in Norway were fanaticism in the name of our Father. This began to solidify in me that we need places to pray for Muslims and provide space for them in our presence with God. He might be a jealous God, but he is not an exclusive God - he is pursuing those children he begat but who do not know him (Isaiah 1:2) We need liturgical acts to remember that Islam is not the problem, but religious fanaticism and human sin is.

Sunday Morning

The service ended. No one walked out; no one ranted after worship. Any back blow is minimal, and I think it was a remarkable moment that we placed the outcast - the Muslim - in the center of our liturgical - may I say prayerful practice in worship. Now I could see the eyes of the people and engage them in conversation. Many people thanked us for doing the 911 remembrance. One man came to us and said, "perfectly done. Way to include the Muslim text. If anyone gives you grief, send them to me." This was encouraging. A few others talked among themselves, and one of those messages was relayed to me by a friend. The secondhand record said, "Lucy (not her name) came to me to see what I thought [about the Muslim tradition being included]. I told her that I thought it went well, and I appreciated the evangelistic nature of the text." Lucy responded, "I had several questions about the Islamic text. And at first I didn't see the point." My friend responded, "Did he answer your question and was the evangelistic edge helpful." She responded - he did [answer my questions], and I had never heard the word "evangelistic"before. That was helpful."

We are hoping that others who were blessed or unsettled will continue the conversation in the days to follow. The original woman who made the volatile phone call was in worship today. I shook her hand at the back of the sanctuary and said, "I believe it is time for you and I to get together." She agreed.

Lindsay (co-pastor and wife) said that the energy and response to the service was wonderful. People were grateful for the balance of patriotic language, liturgical language, and the overall tone of the service.

One more thing: I was talking to an older woman in our congregation, who said that she had gone to see a friend after worship who could not be with us in worship today. The older woman said that she wanted a CD of the service - it was so complex and layered that it is hard to explain - but it was so powerful, too. I will take her advice and post the service's audio in the coming days.

The Texts for Remembering 9/11

2011-09-10T19:58:00.000-05:00

We will be reading Scripture traditionally during our worship service (Matthew 6:6-15), but during the 9/11 remembrance, we will read three texts from each of the Abrahamic faiths:

FROM THE JEWISH TRADITION Isaiah 25:6-9

On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wines, of rich food filled with marrow, of well-aged wines strained clear. And he will destroy on this mountain the shroud that is cast over all peoples, the sheet that is spread over all nations; he will swallow up death forever. Then the Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces, and the disgrace of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken. It will be said on that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, so that he might save us.This is the Lord for whom we have waited; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.

FROM THE MUSLIM TRADITION

In the Name of God, most gracious, most merciful. Lord, you said, and your words are true: If any do seek for glory and power, to God belongs all glory and power. To him mount up all words of purity. He exalts all righteous deeds. But those that lay the plots of evil, for them is a terrible penalty; and the plotting of such will he not abide.

Goodness and evil are not equal. Repel the evil with the good. But no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and restraint, none but

persons of the greatest good fortune.

FROM THE CHRISTIAN TRADITION Matthew 5:2-12a (Please stand for the reading of the gospel)

Then he began to speak, and taught them, saying: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven.

Remembering September 11, 2001

2011-09-10T19:55:00.000-05:00

We will remember 9/11/2001 during worship tomorrow. It will part of our worship service and will include Prayer, Music, both patriotic and sacred, and naming of names for those who lost their lives on the day. We will also read texts for the healing of the nations: a Jewish text, a Muslim text, and a Christian text. We will stand for the gospel.

There is obviously some question over the use of the Muslim tradition, and in preparing our congregation for worship, we sent the following email on Friday:

On Sunday morning we will remember September 11 and begin our new series, The Lord's Prayer. The intersection of these two events is significant in light of the gospel. Obviously, 911 was a religious and political attack on the United States. The Lord's Prayer is a theological and political prayer asking for "Our Father" to bless the world and transform violence into peace "on earth as it is in heaven." We remember 911 with the voice of the Lord's Prayer - forgiveness, provision, reconciliation, and the eradication of evil.

During our remembrance and seeking the peace of the nations, we will pray and remember, sing to God on behalf of America, and read Scriptures to seek the peace that only comes through Jesus Christ. We will read two sacred Scriptures, one from the Old Testament (Isaiah) and one from the New Testament (Matthew). We will also read one text from the Muslim tradition, and we will place it between the Biblical readings. We read the Islamic text evangelistically - hoping that participants in Islam will discover that the peace named in their scripture will be discovered through the Triune God embodied in Jesus Christ, alone. These three readings represent the voices of the three Abrahamic Faiths, the three dominant religions that emerge from God's chosen one, Abraham (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abrahamic_faith).

We invite you to begin the prayer for peace and the healing of the nations today. Begin the prayer in your homes that we will then bring collectively to God on Sunday, September 11. Invite your friends, and join us for worship on Sunday at 10:30 am to cry out to God for the healing of the nations, the blessing of this nation, and the faithful witness of the church - the people of Jesus Christ.

It is our hope that during this remembrance, we will be able to head God's call that even the most despised of enemies will be invited to discover the peace fulfilled in Jesus Christ.

The Other Side of the River: Chapter 9 - The Dentist

2011-09-05T13:03:00.000-05:00

Friends have been asking, “what have you been reading lately?” I hate this question, as it reminds me of how little I have been reading, lately. I have set aside Other Side of the River and three other books aside (Missional Church in Perspective; Eugene Peterson’s, The Pastor, and my dissertation) for several weeks, and most of my time has been devoted to managing projects that leave little time to read and reflect. On Labor Day, my wife has gifted me with some alone time to read and remember where my mind enjoys spending time.

The Dentist is the story of a white dentist, named Burton Weisberg, who has roots in Brooklyn, is Jewish, and fully supports the NRA – he owns several guns. He has a dental office on the edge of Benton Harbor, which means he is geographically in St. Joseph Township, but his mailing address is Benton Harbor. (This location issue is common the shores of Lake Michigan, which makes “google maps” difficult and contracting with utilities almost impossible). For Weisberg, the Dentist, his location issues became his excuse for the inability to sell his dental practice.

Weisberg enters the story because he is an advocate for Marv Fiedler, the cop who shot an unarmed black kid. Fielder is removed from the police force, and Weisberg and other white St. Joe residents raised funds to pay Fiedler’s attorney fees.

Diminishing Race

Twice in his chapter Weisberg says, “it’s not a matter of race…” to which he then says, “…yet Benton Harbor has the highest crime rate in the state;” and “…I think it is a socioeconomic situation.”

Why is it that crime and economy are respectively higher and lower in non-white/non-dominant culture communities in our country and around the world? Maybe this is a dumb question, or Maybe it is variable coincidence. When I travel around the world, not merely in the US, the darker the skin the less opportunity, or at least the greater the obstacles to opportunity. It is true in at least Thailand, India, and the US. I am amazed at how sub-populations of lighter skin can create and join systems and structures that cripple other persons, who share common citizenship and even, common ethnicities (as is the case in India). I am also amazed at the power of human rationality to ignore racialization and blame other factors such as socio-economics (as if money is an objective phenomenon) for the reason why some communities cannot seem to reduce crime, improve education, and increase economic viability. When race becomes so clearly the defining marker, it appears that most of us can diminish race as a variable altogether. The power of the mind to deceive is quite incredible (TED.com - Deceit).

Oppressing through Humiliation

At one point in the book, Weisberg says he wants to close his dental practice because of insurance paperwork, but also because of the risk of HIV. Recently, he has pricked his finger inside someone’s bleeding mouth. He sent the patient to be tested for HIV (At Weisberg’s expense). Though Kolowitz does not label the patient’s race, the tone of Weisberg and his racism infers to the reader that the patient was black. This becomes an act of humiliation, which is a constant bug in the power of systems – if one group can humiliate another, then the humiliated group embodies their humiliation and believes it as a matter of fact within daily life. (I think part of Jesus calling us friends in john 20 is an invitation to seek the humanity of one another (across race, class, and gender) as not to perpetuate systems that oppress through humiliation).

Additional Reading:

The Other Side of the River - Chapter 5: Friends

2011-08-10T13:48:00.002-05:00

I remember trying to understand tragedy when Greg Fast committed suicide during 8th grade and when a football teammate JEremy was killed by his friends in late high school. These were friends, who lost their lives too early. I remember attending their funerals and shedding tears without detailed reason, save the absence of people who should not be gone. I remember when Greg Fast died that I wanted to see his mom, and that I wanted to be sure others were not treated as Greg was (had Greg not died, he may have been a professional athlete). I remember calling his mom every few weeks to say I was thinking of her and remembering Greg.

For Eric McGinnis, his friends arrived on his mother's front yard irate, and understandably so. THey were convinced, and the rapid spread of rumors affirmed, that St. Joe was up to this killing. They shared their rage on her front step, hoping for Ms. Ruth to come outside and confirm their rage by inviting them to enter St. Joe and seek revenge. She did not - Psalm 23 was her posture.

The ensuing rage from both sides of the River show how easy mob mentality emerges, not merely from McGinnis' friends, but as much as or mores from the wealthy and white counterparts. Reeves said, "This is a time bomb about to go off." The river is a real divide, a real hindrance."

The escalation of rhetoric in St. Joe following Erics death was the real culprit of the escalation violence from both sides of the river. Fear ensued, and every was both violator and violated. Mobs form and rage is executed by word and deed against the suspecting and innocent. This continues to occur today - rhetoric that is more gossip than truth turns to violence. This is most obvious with Rep. Giffords, but also in the more subtle tensions that exist in workplaces, churches, and especially schools.

I understand McGinnis' friends wanting fast justice rooted in violence. We want to be justified and right, and whatever cost for self-preservation and victory is worth it in that one specific moment. Yet Ms. Ruth's Psalm 23 posture calmed the boys in the unsettling times - more than likely the posture saved several lives, black and white. I may not be violent, but there are many times as pastor, father, husband, and friend, that a Psalm 23 posture would be more suitable than my pursuit of self-righteousness or justification. I am reminded of what God says to Moses (and Israel) at the water's edge: "BE Still for the Lord will fight for you."

The Other Side of the River - Chapter 4: Family

2011-08-10T13:47:00.002-05:00

Chapter 4 - Family

I began reading the chapter wondering how Kolowitz would unfold "family", the chapter's title. Eric McGinnis was the only child to his mother, Ruth, and his father lived elsewhere in BEnton Harbor. Family was not nuclear, but it was also not volatile. I wondered how the relationships would receive their first introduction. Even more, as I began reading the chapter, I was reminded of the several children I have known who died before their parents - something that shapes my imagination for parenting Micah and Madeline.

The chapter paints the story of how Ruth discovered the death of her son, and the affects on the policeman (Jim Reeves) and her other family members. The chapter wraps up with the following quotation, which unsettles my being as I think about being a father; I found myself in grief for Ruth, even on this day - 15+ years later, as the loss of a child is a loss to our entire being forever:

"What really bothered me was that Ruth was about my age, and seeing what she was going through, I got to thinking about my own daughter. That's a terrible thing, to lose a child." Reeves continued, "Parents are supposed to go before their children. I went home that night and just hugged Makenna, held her in my arms." (38).

The Other Side of the River is opening questions of racial and societal divisions, but the power of the characters involved in the story also give witness to the commonality and solidarity of humanity, especially in the role and identity of parenting. The compassion and sympathy that Jim Reeves has for Ruth is powerful and stems from the nature of being called, "mom" or "dad" a title without class or race. I hate that tragedy is one of the few places divisions cease and harmony is possible. Yet Kolowitz narrates the divisions and solidarity in such a way as to discover humanity, anew.

My first experience with this chapter and its narrative was early in college when a close friend lost her brother in a car accident. He was fatally hit by an oncoming truck who was speeding through a red light. At the legal proceedings, my friend's father took to the microphone and forgave the murderer - the driver of the truck. It was his Christian vocation and identity that ruled the day. I see a similar disposition in Ruth, Eric's mother, and I look forward to the unfolding of her Christian identity in the midst of a messy, racialized, and tragic story.

I am looking forward to the Christian unfolding from Ruth in the chapters ahead, for the chapter on family gives witness to her faith in Christ. At first word of Eric's missing, Ruth calls her mom and sister, and then she took out her Bible and began reading Psalm 23, which she used with Eric during trying times. The story says, "with Bible in one hand and Eric's photo in the other, she rocked back and forth, her eyes tightly shut." My sense is that Ruth's deep identity rooted in faith will continual to unfold, albeit with moments of human difficulty and even anger - or so I imagine....

The Cop: Meeting Lieutenant Reeves

2011-07-26T10:02:00.002-05:00

I began chapter 3 in The Other Side of the River. The chapter opens depicting the quaint and even romantic town of St. Joseph. I found myself walking the streets as Kolowitz describes them, and I was remarkably comfortable when I was figuratively walking those streets.

The nature of the book, race relations, however unsettled my comfort on those streets. I wondered if everyone found great comfort and even a teenage romanticism while walking the streets. Is this an inclusive community that welcomes all races, classes, and ages? Or is these streets, and those like them around the country, exclusive for middle-aged, middle-class, dominant race folks? I do not have an answer to my question, but the book is making me ask questions about what makes me comfortable and not necessarily others the same.

The topic of the chapter is Kolowitz’s initial conversation with Reeves, the St. Joseph Police Lieutenant. I am not sure how Reeve’s will unfold, but at first glance I appreciate him. He is generally collaborative, not only with his local citizens, but with the people of Benton Harbor. He is sensitive to the community(ies) tensions, and he engages cautiously yet diligently racialized claims.

Kolowitz and Reeves jump quickly to discuss the McGinnis death, beginning with the discovery of the body. I appreciated Reeves statement as recorded by Kolowitz, “Reeves wanted the case solved swiftly to prove to Benton Harbor that a white cop would take the death of a black teenager as seriously as he would one of his own….” (24). I appreciate the forthrightness and sensitivity that Reeves practices in his revelation of this (potentially?) criminal scene.

Confession

I need to admit that I am a recovering racist. I have words and images from junior high and high school that passed through my mouth during those years that I neither celebrate nor care to remember. College-aged friends informed me of my racism, both implicit and explicit, and since early college, I have been diligent in reversing these assumptions and becoming a Kingdom-minded person, who recognizes differences as moments to celebrate and not denigrate.

I do not believe that my parents taught me to be racist, nor did my friends. I simply became racist by nature of living in a societal system that too often lives by racist structures. Over time, this subtle yet destructive persona develops, and sooner or later we must take responsibility for our racist thoughts and practice even if we have no idea how it developed. This confession is a realization that most of us are recovering racists, some still simply racist. It is my hope that my life in Christ is an ongoing reversal of racism and an unfolding practice of love, grace, and Kingdom-hope. I think reading Kolowitz is part of this discipleship journey.

Race and the Reality of Comfort: Kolowitz, 1

2011-07-18T10:05:00.001-05:00

I have a practice when I travel overseas. I try to find a local book store in order to find a book with a local setting. In Paris, I went to Berkeley Books and purchased The Moveable Feast by Hemmingway and Orwell’s, Down and Out in Paris and London. The Moveable Feast took place on the same street as our hotel. I have repeated the practice in Germany, Amsterdam, and Moscow. It was harder to do with Thailand and Kenya. The engagement of a local tale is intriguing, yet when you discover a local tale in your hometown, the engagement can be daunting.

I was telling a good friend about the story, and she said, “I’m in that book.” I knew Eric – we were the same age. This story might be a little too local, and I am somewhat anxious about how the story will raise new questions – as a resident, a disciple of Jesus, but also as a pastor of a church in this community. This tale is a bit more located than Hemmingway, Orwell, or Zamyatin (Russian writer of We).

The opening chapter sets the tone for the book. There is a level of journalistic fact that keeps a thread of details running through; alongside the exceptional journalism is a healthy dose of editorial commentary, where we see into Kolowitz’s self-discoveries and personal surprise. I appreciate the style and tone of the book, for it invites me into the story as both reader and local participant.

Kolowitz moved into the area for two summers in the early 1990s. What he writes about his move into the town highlights the scope of the book as well as depicts the sociological challenge of life in the US:

“People I the two towns would often ask which side of the river I was staying on, wanting to gauge my allegiance. But the question that was most asked, “Why us? Why write about St. Joseph and Benton Harbor?” So I would tell them that, while the contrasts between St. Joe and Benton Harbor seem unusually stark, there are I believe, typical of how most of us live: physically and spiritually isolated from one another…. I’ve come to realize that most of us would like to do right, but, as was said of the South’s politicians during Jim Crow, race diminishes us. It incites us to act as we wouldn’t in other areas: clumsily, cowardly, and sometimes cruelly. We easily fall on one side or the other; we circle the wagons, watching for our own.”

The Other Side of the River, Alex Kolowitz

2011-07-18T10:04:00.001-05:00

This morning I started rereading a book, The Other Side of the River, by Alex Kolowitz. He also wrote There are No Children Here (1991). The Other Side of the River is a tale of two cities, Benton Harbor and St Joseph, Michigan. Kolowitz follows the tragic story of Eric McGinnis, a young African-American boy who was discovered dead in the St. Joseph River. The other way to describe it: Alex narrates the murder of an African-American teenager who was found in the St. Joseph River. Depending on which side of the river you live dictates how you explain the story – found or murdered.

St. Joseph is 95% affluent and white and Benton Harbor is 92% poor and black. The story is particularly about race relations in these two cities, but, as Kolowitz states, the story is the tale of Americana.

Over the next few weeks, I will be writing my reflections on the story. Most often, I read an entire book and then write my thoughts, yet because of the nature of the story, the intensity of the writing, and the unfolding style of writing, I will write in a more “personal journal” style as I go through the story. I look forward to re-reading what I wrote from the early pages to the latter, and to potentially discover my own ignorance and prejudice as I read and reflect. My one wondering is: “Do I have the stamina to read the entire book through and keep up with my own reflections?” In many ways, I am writing to discover my own “whiteness.”

Gulp - I met that goat earlier today! - Saturday in Kenya

2011-04-14T14:37:00.002-05:00

We rearranged the schedule today. We had planned to work a half day beginning at 8:30, but we were invited to see the operation of a coffee farm co-op. This was pretty interesting and depressing. The plantation is a fair-trade certified factory, yet a pound of coffee sells for 20 cents. The cartel of coffee has too many brokers who cash-in while the kenyan coffee farmers are shortchanged. The best way to stop this is to connect with a farmer and buy direct, roast and grind your own.

Following the coffee tour, we went to work for one-half day starting at 9:30. We were able to finish everything and depart by 1:00. We left the home and returned to our quarters for lunch and some rest.

We planned to return to Morning Star for supper that evening. We helped to purchase two live goats for supper! Yes, they were living. I will refrain from details, but Shawn slit the animal's throat and drained the blood. Then the rest of the process prior to throwing ALL of the meat into a boiling pot. Mix this with vegetables and salt and we have goat stew served over rice.

We made a mid-afternoon stop between work and dinner. As mentioned before, Reah operates a children's home called Morning Star; she, along with Francis, also operates a home for high school boys called Stars for Jesus. We had not seen the boys home. So we walked from our quarters to Stars for Jesus. What a blessing these guys were. 22 high school boys live in a tiny dormitory while they are home from school (high school in Kenya is a boarding school situation). This community could easily be the Lord of the Flies, but instead it is a community of young men caring for one another. It was clean and orderly, and the boys were extremely hospitable.

We distributed new shoes to them that were donated by a man in the US. We also sat around and shared stories, they sang to us, and we prayed for them. My greatest memory was Bill Deetjen leading these boys in calisthenics. I am not sure how he did it, but he simply said, loudly, follow me. Then he began the Alabama Quick, to which each and everyone of the 22 boys followed along. The first unbelievable act was Bill doing the Alabama quick. The second was how quickly Bill was able to invite them into participate with him! I was overjoyed to see Bill light up in the community with the younger men. He truly is gifted as a disciple and mentor.

I must tell you about our dinner with the goats. We arrived to the home thinking we were coming for dinner. However, as we pulled into Morning Star, we noticed a large truck in the driveway - it was the well drilling company. Also, to our right, the water tank had been delivered. Our work was done, but we had been waiting all week for these two things. They came at the last possible moment, and we rejoiced that they had arrived. I was reminded of the Passover call to be content in all circumstances.

Once we rejoiced over the well and water tank, we entered the dining hall for dinner. I was skeptical about eating the goat. Shawn told us that the WHOLE goat was boiled in one pot, including the less-than-clean intestines. Thanks be to God that Bekah had separated some of the goat for us, and she cooked it in a safer and healthier way. Otherwise, the kid's rejoiced over the meat and ate every last bite. The end of the meal included a parade. Paul, a staff person, walked the dining hall with a bowl of goat bones. The children sucked the meat off of the bones and proceeded to eat the marrow. It was a delicacy. We were overjoyed that they were so blessed by the meal. God is good.

Hamburger Help Us! - Friday in Kenya

2011-04-14T14:36:00.002-05:00

We were all back together at work today. The roof needed to be completed, cabinets made, a tire swing hung, and the electrical stabilized. It appeared that many of us were tired today. I, for one, slept about two hours, so most of the morning was a struggle to stay awake, let alone not cut my hand with the saw (as I saw a couple of guys almost accomplish).

Something you should know: there were two work teams this week. The first included the roofing team: Gunnar, Shawn, Ron, John. The second team included the more highly skilled guys - Dean, Ken, and Kyle under the supervision of Bill Deetjen. We also had two overseers, who worked diligently trying to be sure that the team had everything we needed as soon as possible (which in Kenya time took longer than some desired) - this included Bob and Reuben. Those two guys gave up the joy of working with their hands for the sake of administration and finance. Without these two men none of us would have accomplished anything. We are grateful.

Our team (Dean, Kyle, and Ken) greatly impressed Bill. He was not sure what to expect from a retired teacher, pastor, and restaurant owner. After five days of working together, Bill had his human relations manager FedEx three applications for employment to us. He is quickly trying to acquire us for his construction team back home. Bill could not believe our level of skill or our ability to focus and accomplish the job. He trusted us, and often times in the middle of the job he would drop his head and walk away from us - Dean and I were convinced that his absence was due to his deep trust in and amazement of our abilities. Unfortunately, we had to explain to Bill that we are unavailable for hire due to our current vocations. He seemed disappointed but ultimately in agreement with our decision "not to quit our day jobs."

We finished the roof today. It looks great. The ceiling is ready for hanging, electrical is roughed in, and Papa Bill's Village is completed. Also, Ron Russell built two cabinets for the boy's dorm. This will assure each student a spot for their clean clothes and other personal belongings. We were all very impressed at how many Kenyan boys joined Ron in building these shelves. At one point 8 young men were gathered around Ron measuring and cutting. This was a common practice throughout the week - the boys were very interested in helping us and learning some new skills for future use.

We went high-class for dinner - Hamburger Helper! Ken Carlson brought several boxes from home, and Doug, our amazing chef, cooked this up for us. It was delicious. We combined "the helper" with toast, and I was reminded of the old days when my mom was out-of-town. We shared our leftovers with Doug and the other boys, and they seemed to love it.

Thursday in Kenya

2011-04-14T14:35:00.002-05:00

The team of four (Ron, CHris, Kyle and John) traveled back to Stars for Jesus today. We traveled via Air Kenya. The group that remained at Stars continued the diligent work of putting trusses on the roof, finishing the water tank, and making the playground secure - we have dubbed the playground "Papa Bill's Village" since he was the creative engineer behind the whole thing.

Also, Bill made spaghetti for supper. The traveler's were unable to join them for the meal, so they stopped to eat at a place in Nairobi. The downside of our delay was that we missed the great meal creation.

Wednesday - Departing to Mombassa

2011-04-14T14:34:00.002-05:00

Three members of the team departed this morning. Ron, John, and Kyle traveled to Mombassa area to discover a children's home operated by Larry and Kathy Hopkins of Canada and the African Inland Mission (affiliated with Rift Valley Academy).

Chris Okune of First Love, a children's home in Nairobi, traveled with us. He is the director of the home, and his vision and insight into empowering students to live abundantly in the future is one worth replicating. He is a visionary, and his children's home is an invitation to what is possible for the future of Kenyan children. First Love is committed to two things: 1) housing children whose parents have died; 2) feeding 1000 students breakfast and lunch at a local slum school near Kibira (this is the second largest slum in the world).

Rifiki Children's Home is a home for 85+ kids and has a dynamically different feel than either Stars for Jesus or First Love. Rifiki is a more conservative home that seeks to prepare the children to return to their local slum communities upon graduation from high school. The location and philosophy of the school is much more rigid and structured than other homes we saw. This has its benefits and downsides.

We very much enjoyed meeting Robert and Zipporah, who are the day-to-day directors. This passionate Kenyan couple live on-site and have developed a disciplined community of children. Larry and Kathy are free to live in Canada and raise support for the home due to the exceptional gifts of Robert and Zipporah.

What has impressed us is the difference in raising children in Kenya. Robert and Zipporah operate under strict rules of social interaction, bible study, and modesty. Tradition and rules are fundamental. Chris operates a more progressive home that is still devoted to discipleship, but feels like a larger and more middle class family home. The care for the property and responsibilities is allocated to paid staff and children are more devoted to studies and enjoying childhood. Reah and Francis operate a more flexible home that feels like a tightly connected family. Children have plenty of playtime, yet each child understands the shared responsibility of being "family." This means that children help in the garden, with the animals (cows, goats, and rabbits), and around the property, including the bathrooms and cooking. Stars for Jesus is a real blessing to watch unfold. All three homes have their practices and cultures - each is a different way of raising children and each way has a commonality - blessing these children with a home in the name of Jesus Christ.

One big post because wifi is sparse

2011-04-07T12:14:00.000-05:00

We departed Amsterdam after a brief four hour layover (it is 7 hours on the way home). Layovers begin to disclose personalities. Some want to sit in a chair and wait it out - the bonus is that these guys watch the luggage. Others want to walk aimlessly in order to get some exercise. Still, others have a destination in mind - Starbucks or a wireless hotspot. I like this about our group.

We are now on the plane to Nairobi. Gunnar has met his flight attendant, the two younger women sitting in his row (one is from North Dakota traveling to Kenya to teach English on the South-east coast), and he is the most diligent at walking the aisles. I think that every time he gets up, he meets someone new.

The movie of the trip has been True Grit. I have yet to watch it (I watched Chronicles of Narnia 3, instead). But I thought it odd when Ron Russell and Ken Carlson were playing cowboys throughout Schipohl Airport (boys will be boys).

John is our watch-out guy. He is always turning around to make sure everyone is with us. We are dubbing him security patrol - he is responsible for our daily health checks (and mere presence). Ken is our even keel guy. He is flexible with whatever is next, willing to help however he can. (He just walked by me as I typed that - we are all working hard to ward off "deep bone thrombosis").

Shawn is our perpetual smiling presence. Whether one of us offers an off-hand remark or simply a statement of a peculiar fact, Shawn nods his head and smiles. He's the rock.

Finally, nothing eventful has happened. We simply sit, walk, pee, and sit. This is a good life. I think we will be ready for a long sleep when we arrive in Nairobi. Tomorrow we wake up, eat breakfast, attend worship, and travel north to Stars For Jesus.

Sunday

I preached this morning at bishop/pastor bensons church fellowship. Not only was it my shortest sermon, it was the church's shortest sermon. When I concluded my ten minute homily ina n African Independent Pentecostal Church, Bishop Benson made a joke. He said that his people pray to God that their pastor could be more brief as this blessed white preacher. I laughed because the HCC crew was thinking the same thing, namely "he is never that brief at home." The sermon was on Nehemiah 8- it was 12 minutes.

After worship we conducted a building dedication for the new property Ron Russell helped purchase. One thing we learned from them regarding worship was a call and response. The leader says, "praise God" we respond, "amen." then again the leader says, "Praise God again." and we respond, "amen." We did this several times during the worship and dedication.

My favorite part of worship was when the children came forward to offer us a blessing. Each child would lead us in the call and response - "praise God. Amen. Praise God again. Amen and amen. Then they would say, "My name is ------ and I have a memory verse....." Each child would present a memory verse, some longer than others, but the memory verse was a sense of pride and accomplishment. There might be something for us in this.

We traveled from the PAstor Benson's slum community where we worshipped to Stars for Jesus and Morning Star Children's home. Stars for Jesus is an older boys home. This was the original vision fromReah's late husband, Phil. The Stars ministry began as a rehab center for street boys; now it has become a live-in residence for 14-18 year-old boys. Morning Star was the second addition. From the original rehab center and worshipping fellowship (aka church), there was a recognized need to have children of all ages. We are staying adjacent to Stars for Jesus. We drive each day to Morning Star which is something like a 20-40 minute drive.....

Oh yes, enough description. We spent the day visiting the home and planned out our first workday. The plans include building a water tank stand(to hold 20,000 pounds or more of water), a swing set, an electric transformer box, and the roof on Reah's new home. We look forward to getting started in the morning.

Kenya is beautiful. The people, the children, the landscape- everything is so beautiful.

----

Monday

We slept in just a little but today. We departed for the worksite at 0900. Prior to leaving our residence, we spent time dwelling in the word. I was not sure which text we would use, but thanks to Ken Carlson he directed us to John 6. We are reading the feeding of the five thousand each day this week, and what a blessing the first day was. You can imagine how we are seeing this miracle enacted at the kids home. One quick story: Morning Star home has very little funds for food, let alone transportation to go and pick it up. BMS has developed several relationships in Nairobi to assist them in providing food. Each Wednesday Francis or Duncan travel to Nairobi's airport to pick up food that is donated to them from airport leftovers. Often there is very little gas in the van to make the trip, but each week they make it there and back. Francis said the "e" on the gas tank is not for empty but for enough. Indeed, God gives us enough. Amen.

Yes, the ten of us men are making ALL of our own meals. We had cereal and eggs for breakfast; we made PB&J or meat sandwhiches for lunch, and we are going all out gourmet for dinner. Gunnar made macaroni and cheese tonight. He brought Spartan brand M&C to which we complimented it with sausages and toast. We made 8 boxes of M&C and devoured it. We shared some with Doug, our kitchen boss, and he did not even taste it (maybe he though that anything that goes from powder to creamy cheese ORANGE that quickly is barely food. He politely smiled and received the bowl.... The other 10 guys loved it. No leftovers!

One note: Traveling in Kenya is quite interesting. The road is there when available, but in a traffic jam, the shoulder seems to be the more preferred method. Traveling here makes us nervous, but we are definitely living what it means to say, "by faith". We were driving to Stars on Sunday and watch three or four large buses maneuver the shoulder banks, both down and back up again. We were for certain that two of them were going to tip over right in front of us. The road was similar in traffic to a chicago street.... and by the way, the reason for going around the street and onto the shoulder was because of the goats in the middle of the jammed roadway.... seriously (pictures to follow).

---

Tuesday

I like making mistakes. It is good for us. However, sometime the audience for which the mistake was made can determine the "good" within. This group is full of laughter and hilarity, as well as depth and understanding. In the face of mistakes, however, the road back to equilibrium can be longer than one would like.

Today we did not sleep in. Bob and I were supposed to make breakfast, which included waking up at 6 am. The other men were to arise at 6:30, eat at 7:00, Dwelling in the Word, and depart for work at 8:00 am. This sounds like a good morning schedule. I set my alarm last night for 6:00. My traveling alarm clock comfortably woke me from my slumber. (seriously, Lindsay - no snooze!) I began working with Doug (a helper at Stars for Jesus) and Bob to prepare breakfast for the men. at 6:30, I let the men know that it was time to wake up. Slowly but surely half of the men arose into the dark of morning. At 6:45 I asked Bob what time it was and he said, ...... (wait for it)...... 5:45. Oops. I had my travel clock set to Athens time and not Nairobi time..... I say no more.

Today the Kenyan men asked to join us for devotions. They asked us! We read the Feeding of the 5000 together. Their response was wonderful. Together, the Scriptures came alive in an encouraging manner. We shared stories about living "by faith." We, HCC folks, were so impressed by the Kenyans faith - they do not wait for miracles they participate in them daily. They, the Kenyans, were impressed at our ability to give up time and energy to travel all this way and share in the work with them. They mentioned how impressive our unity and teamwork is considering the large tasks in front of us (this received major laughter from our men).

Work Report: We worked in two groups. The first group constructed the house trusses (roof supports). This took significant time, but by days end, they not only finished building 8 trusses but also putting them up on the roof (I will not name those who were on the roof). The other team, led by Bill Deetjen constructed an electrical box (which 4 Kenyan men relieved us from and did a much better and more efficient job); began the watertank support system; and a rustic swingset. All-in-all this was an exhilirating day! Much was accomplished.

Meal Report: Dean prepared his inaugural dish, "Doug's Hacienda Chili." You can see it listed on the menu at hacienda.com. It consisted of beans, meat, garlic powder, 1 cup salt, pepper, 4 cups of chili pepper, carrots, onions, cilantro, and another cup of chili powder. We let that simmer for one hour, and I-kid-you-not that it was some of the best chili ever. We shared it with our five additional guests, including Doug. We cleared a 5 gallon bucket of this stuff. Incredible. Just enough spice, enough beans, and enough love.

While Dean was crafting the chili, Bekah (Reah's sister who was at HCC last summer and is currently 10.5 months pregnant and having contractions.....) was crafting the finest fried-corn-bread. She made enough corn bread for each of us to have 4-5 4 inch pieces each. This meal should be featured somewhere....... Thanks for a great meal!

Kenya Arrived

2011-04-02T16:19:00.002-05:00

We arrived at 8:30. Right on time. We were able to secure the luggage quickly and depart to the guest house. It wasnfun to have a welcome team of Reah and bob and Sandra and others. They had a busy day preparing for our arrival, but all seems to be going very well. Please pray that the Kenya power can be put back together so we have power at the home.

We spent some time together in one of the sitting rooms. It is a dynamic and verbal group. We tell jokes,interior each other, and several other quirks that will be sure to make the blog this week.

We are safe. Stay tuned.

En route to Kenya.

2011-04-02T16:17:00.000-05:00

Love Wins - And his book is making lots of money, besides....

2011-03-28T21:56:00.002-05:00

Let’s keep Bell’s book in perspective

I finished Rob Bell’s new book, Love Wins. I hadn’t read any reviews of his book prior to reading it myself, yet now I am amazed to see the prolific responses. Online respondents either seem to overly sympathize with him—“finally, someone has taken on this monumental issue that is consuming the faith of young and old, alike. Most, however, have responded the other way – exaggerating Bell’s devilish and heretical qualities; one blogger noted that Bell’s book has created a TSUNAMI in his community. I think overly romanticizing Bell’s contribution is a bit much, but more so comparing Bell’s book to a recent natural disaster that has threatened nuclear meltdown and innumerable deaths is out-of-bounds, also. I wonder if we, Christians, will find a way to debate texts, ideas, and questions without having to follow media’s personalist attacks. The one person who seems to always accomplish gracious speech is Scot McKnight. He is one worth hearing, often.

I think Bell’s book, five years in the making, is only semi-important. For the younger evangelicals, Bell finally names the great divide between younger and older generations on matters of Jesus – namely is God more invested in judgment or hospitality. Potentially, Bell’s book will gather younger and older Christians together for a theological discussion; hopefully the conversation will invite understanding and not battle!

The Book as a Book-to-read

As it is, this is not a good book for readership. The logic is unclear, his use of Scripture is just as user-centered as those who criticize him (so I laugh when his critics condemn his use of Scripture, for he is simply borrowing their methods). Finally, the sentence structure is too flippant. I wondered if each chapter is a better sermon than a chapter in a book. On the writing level, English composition teachers should be as furious as John Piper. We can look to HarperOne for allowing this book to look and feel the way it does. Even so, on a theological level, Bell invites reflection – even when I disagree with him (which is on and off throughout the book).

The Theology At-Work

I worried about the book in the first three chapters. In his attempt to heighten heaven as a this-worldly participation with the love of God, he actually heightens our concerns for hell. By framing “God’s love” in heaven and hell terms, he never quite gets beyond the old paradigm – the question is still heaven or hell, but this time heaven gets priority.

If the reader can get beyond the inflammatory speech of the first three chapters and the confusing biblical work (not that it is inherently wrong or overly heretical interpretation) he has a good idea for a book.

On the positive side, Chapters 4, 5, and 6 are an invitation to Bell’s desires. Here, he writes with a tone of humility and love. He truly desires for the world to know that God in Jesus Christ desires to love them and not harshly judge them. Each page invites us to join with a personal God who is gracious and merciful toward the world (a world that God so deeply loves – John 3:16).

Reading as a Covenanter

After finishing the book (and having grace toward Bell for my dislike of the first chapters), I thought that Bell’s book is anything but radical for the Evangelical Covenant Church. We have strongly held a view of the atonement where “God’s love for the world is magnified” and less so the more classic substitutionary model of atonement where “the wrath of God is satisfied.” I think Bell becomes a Covenanter in his middle-chapters. He even sounds like P.P. Waldenstrom in a few places (who was also wrongly criticized for being a universalist). As I re-read sections of the book, I wondered if we, the Covenant Church, had been invited to edit the work, especially the tone and phrasing, could this book be more palpable? (haha).

Theological Point: We Should Stop Possessing Jesus

Bell is most brilliant in his request to stop possessing Jesus. His opening chapters are a fight (to my dismay) to tell closed-theists to stop possessing Jesus. This, in my opinion, is the point of the book. He deeply wants the world to know that Jesus is not held captive by the church. And regardless of how badly we, the church, have disfigured the whole Jesus thing, there is hope – for everyone. Bell simply wants the skeptics and atheists to know that no one – not one – possesses Jesus. Bell poetically states how God is radically committed to redeeming the entire world and how unavailable God is for our possession;

“[Jesus Christ] is for all people, and yet he refuses to be co-opted or owned by any one culture.

That includes Christian culture. Any denomination. Any church. Any theological system. We can point to him, name him, follow him, discuss him, honor him, and believe in him—but we cannot claim him to be ours any more than he’s anyone else’s” (page 131).

There is a word here for us. It is a word of freedom – no longer do we need to uphold false certainties, no longer are we unable to discover Jesus-anew. Jesus is to be discovered as a loving God for all people everywhere. Instead of fearing hell, we can stand assured of Christ’s resurrection powers that will now and in-the-future redeem the world – no exceptions. As stated at a recent funeral for a man who committed suicide, “There is nothing beyond the power of God’s redemption.” (We can say this without worry that people will take this as carte-balnche to sin all-the-more).

What most don’t like, most of us weren’t supposed to understand …..

Finally, I think there is something going on in this book that many of us cannot understand. I continually felt like I had entered another family’s argument. Bell is overly polemical throughout the book. Several friends have commented that every page where Bell says something clear and helpful, he then uses the next page to make a point that resembles a sword and not a ploughshare. I could not agree more. He seems to write as if embattled from the outset.

Bell seems to be responding to his theological past in profound ways – a past that many North American young people continue to revolt against. Bell is a Reformed guy with a love for C.S. Lewis. If you grew up Baptist, Bible Church, Reformed Church, or even Conservative Presbyterian, this book might deeply resonate. And most American’s have a Reformed view of God in their back pocket, even when they are not aware of it (see Sydney Ahlstrom’s A Religious History of the American People). Lutherans would be one of the few groups to be more disengaged from the topic, altogether…. Bell’s Reformed theological tradition most often stresses certainty of salvation and election, including predestination questions. Reformed folks, like John Piper, read the Bible through the lens of election, asking, “Who has God chosen?” God chose Israel, God chose Jesus; did God choose me? This question strikes fear in our hearts – we want to be chosen - as a matter of fact this fear invites us to seek salvation because the other options scare the hell out of us…..

Love Wins… Indeed.

In the end, for me, the book isn’t about heaven and hell; it’s not really even about salvation. The book is about election. If you live in Grand Rapids or Minneapolis, MN, this is the great theological question. The question has to do with “who is in/out?” If you resonate with John Piper, your audience is primarily, “who is in” and “how do we assure ourselves of this?” If you resonate with Bell, the audience is “who is out” and “how do we welcome them in?” If you resonate with neither and wonder why this book is such a firestorm, I hope it is because you believe in a God who blesses the world, inside and out - he did this with Abraham, Israel, Jesus, and now continues with the Holy Spirit through the Church. I also hope it is because regardless of debates about heaven and hell, open or closed, Jesus Christ is the story of how LOVE WINS.

Theology of Friendship

2011-03-06T20:10:00.001-06:00

We just concluded a series on friendship at Harbert Community Church. As preachers, it was a profound series, and we hope the same is true for the hearers. I was curious as to what was the primary grammars of friendship operating throughout our series. I used wordle (www.wordle.net) to configure the word picture of each sermon as well as a composite of the weeks together. I will post three of the weeks, along with the current composite. The worship services from this series will be posted sometime this week on the church website: www.harbertcommunitychurch.org

The weeks of the series were as follow:

Week 1: Friendship
Week 2: Trustworthy Friendship
Week 3: Generous Friendship
Week 4: Critical Friendship
Week 5: Friendship Failures
Week 6: Reconciling Friendship

Wordle for the Series

Week 2: Trustworthy Friendship

Week 4: Critical Friendship

Week 6: Reconciling Friendship

When the first word is not the First Word.

2011-02-23T08:34:00.000-06:00

Most loving Father, whose will it is for us to give thanks for all things, to fear nothing but the loss of you, and to cast all our care on you who cares for us: Preserve me (us) from the faithless fears and worldly anxieties, that no clouds of this mortal life may hide from me the light of that love which is immortal, and which you have manifested to us in your Son Jesus Christ our Lord; who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one Go, now and forever. Amen.U

~The Divine Hours, Morning Office, Week nearest February 24~

I want to make clear that the following is not a prescription for any one person’s life. It is merely a description of my engagement with God and the world in the recent days.

Every morning when I rise, I turn to the left to pick up my “smart” phone (an odd phrase I say) and begin reading the news and checking my email. I check out the world news section and the US news, but I try to skip by the “top news” as popular opinion on news rarely is…. (don’t get me wrong I have nothing against Bieber, Lohan or R. Immanuel). Also, I obsessively look over Sci/Tech news and specifically search for Apple news (computers not fruits). 7-10 minutes into the opening of my eyelids, I am fully saturated on the highs and lows of world concerns. This is how I begin my day, everyday.

This morning, I arrived to the office and began praying through today’s Divine Hours (Phyllis Tickle). I found myself working through the texts for today incessantly reading the news text from this morning onto the Scripture text. Scripture must be the judge and voice to the news, I thought. I found myself growingly anxious and judgmental. Instead of letting the text speak anew, I was forcing it to speak to my news and email categories. The Scripture, which is a word of grace and judgment, was a bullet to strike all the made me unsettled in the news and my email. My reading of the Hours was full of judgment and angst, which only subsided when I “took up” the Lord’s Prayer (a normal part of the Hours).

During the final “Prayer Appointed for the Week” (see above), I came to realize something. The Hours are for me, not a first word, but a second (or maybe third). This is not inherently a problem, for the afternoon Liturgy is always this way. However, I am finding that the Hours (or any devotional) ought be my First Word, taking the priority from Google News and the Huff Post. The Hours ought to be the First Word – a word to grant me peace, so that my reading of email and the news is placed under the sovereignty promise and grace of God as well as within the “peace that surpasses understanding.”

I ask my leadership students to learn the pastoral skill of suspending judgment. This capacious skill is not easy, yet necessary to discover how God speaks first amidst the news, email, and all that fills our lives. The First Word is a move away from angst and toward grace.

Reflections printed in the Local Paper - Herald Palladium

2011-01-31T08:59:00.001-06:00

Herald Palladium Insights Section

Is your faith one of movement?

Published: Saturday, January 29, 2011 1:06 PM EST

My wife and I recently returned from a trip to Thailand. We traveled from the far north to the far south and places in between, exploring the vast terrains of Thailand for 12 days. The landscapes are beautiful, but what continually captured our attention was the dynamic and living Christian faith throughout the country.

Our purpose for traveling to Thailand was to witness, first-hand, the movement of God in this country. We were there to meet Thai Christians and discover how they are living out their faith. Our exploration uncovered a lively faith that sent us home wondering, "How do we live more faithfully in God when we return home?"

The work of Christians in Thailand is alive - the church is dynamic and the ministry is holistic. Without overly romanticizing the work in Thailand, it is clear that a love for God is deeply embraced by the believers in this part of the world. Their faith in God moves them to powerful and public action. They partner with whoever needs help; their lives seek to bless everyone, regardless of religion, class or ethnicity. The people we met worked every day to bless others by alleviating poverty and hunger, creating accessible education, and empowering communities to seek healing and wholeness.

The Christian leaders and participants we met in Thailand spoke of their faith as a movement. Sometimes I wonder if our more American understandings of faith are too committed to buildings or institutions more so than for the purpose of blessing others? The life in Christ movement throughout Thailand was a dynamic and powerful movement - it is a gift from God for people (and creation).

We met one man who was formerly a witch doctor in a northern Thai village. His prior life was committed to removing curses from people's homes, farmlands and even their bodies. When the curses were not broken, the witch doctor was responsible - he became the community scapegoat. He feared for his life on a daily basis. He is no longer connected to the animist practices, but confesses a Christian faith. These same communities that came to him to release curses now come to him to receive blessings - for their homes, farmlands and even their bodies. Villagers ask him why he has such joy and hope. He shares his story and prays a blessing for them. He is no longer a scapegoat, and his communities trust him. He is no longer in fear for his life. This is good news.

I hope that our local church and local churches in the Michiana area can learn from the living faith of Christians in Thailand. Think how different our little area of the world would be if Christians lived only to bless others - to seek to help the hurting and restore the lonely.

The movements of the Spirit throughout Thailand sent me home wondering: How is the Spirit calling us to become a blessing in our local communities of faith? Are we moving toward God and others or toward ourselves? How might we more faithfully live as a transformational presence of local and global proportions created and led by the Holy Spirit? As we engage with one another and our community, I believe that we will begin to experience a life change that will mirror the powerful and living faith of those we met half-a-world-away.

Today's Insights column was written by the Rev. Kyle J.A. Small, pastor of Harbert Community church in Harbert.

Insights is written by area clergy to give different viewpoints on a variety of topics. It is published each Saturday in cooperation with the Berrien County Association of Churches.

The views expressed by the author do not necessarily reflect the views of member churches.

Thailand photos uploaded

2011-01-14T03:28:00.000-06:00

more photos at www.gallery.me.com/small_kyle/100064

Day 10 - HIV/AIDS ministry

2011-01-14T03:14:00.000-06:00

Today we began with an extensive talk with Jim about the Sustainable Development and Relief foundation (SDRF). He is not merely inspiring but extremely efficient. His work involves people in their gift areas for the sake of community empowerment. Even more, the work is a brilliant avenue to see the gospel flourish. People come to say yes to Christ simply because they come to realize that their lives are not cursed but blessed. The flow of energy from the SDRF staff is christ-centered in ways I hope to invite others to when we return home.

We are in Southern Thailand now (Songkhla), and we visited a ministry center today - CHAT. The ministry is committed to networking people with HIV/AIDS together for fellowship and sharing of health practices. In a world and local culture where interaction with people infected with HIV/AIDS is taboo, the loneliness of this disease is debilitating. When the Tsunami hit a few years ago, Jim and Nu-Chan came down here to assist in the redevelopment of the forestry department's projects. The SDRF had not been involved in Southern Thailand, yet the Tsunami required them to come. During their stay here they received a phone call from a woman with HIV. I will spare the details, yet the contentious phone call resulted in Nu-Chan and Jim traveling three hours north (by car) to visit this contentious woman. Their visit with her resulted in numerous connections, including one care-giver (Sunee - not her real name) who has become the leader of the ministry in Southern Thailand.

Sunee has taken up the ministry by connecting nine provinces together for encouragement and healing. People who were infected with HIV through drugs and promiscuity have come to Christ for the real-life transformation evidenced by other Christians. One man who was on the brink of death was visited by Sunee and he has been restored to wholeness (we met him today). Originally this man had his coffin in his home waiting for his friends to pronounce him dead and put him in the box. Now he is married and serving in ministry with the SDRF. There is no scientific or rational explanation to describe what we have seen, but there is a real sense of simple faith that lives and breathes a Jesus Christ-gospel that transcends sophistication and explanation.

We finished our time together with a wonderful lunch, including sticky rice, minced duck, and a wonderful spicy!!! papaya salad. We travel tonight from Hat Yai to Phuket, where the Tsunami wreaked great havoc.

Please check out the photo gallery as photos are slowly starting to appear.

400 visits.

2011-01-14T02:57:00.000-06:00

Thank you to everyone who has visited the blog. We will continue to write even after we return home, posting photos and videos of the trip. Sorry to be sparse on the photos, but internet has been so spotty that uploading was a bear.

See you soon. We are missing the kids today.

Kyle and Lindsay

Day 9 – SDRF and the transition to Southern Thailand

2011-01-14T02:49:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we woke up to the cool mountain air of North East Thailand and toured a local village and the innovative agriculture work in the area. We also saw the school built in partnership with the crown princess. These two projects invite wonder into what is going on…. The school allows over 20 villages to attend an accessible school. Prior to this school was limited to sixth grade, which largely meant post-sixth grade was an invitation to the sex industry or sweat shops. Now children are in school to ninth grade with future dreams of building a prep school or a 10-12 high school. These later years of education prepare students for university, which means choice beyond indentured servitude.

We headed back to the center (SDRF) for lunch and the traditional string tying ritual. This was a powerful time of encouragement and blessing. It has become clear – friendship is the ability to bless one another.

We headed back to Nan (south) to catch a plane from Nan to Hat Yai and the drove to Songkhla, where we are staying the night….. rest, at last.

Day 8 - Traveling with Jim and Curt

2011-01-12T18:27:00.000-06:00

We woke up early to meet Jim and Curt for breakfast. We quickly loaded up the car (once we remembered to get our passports from one of the group members – that was a close one). We departed for Nan and then northward from there to the SDRF – The Sustainable Development and Research Foundation. It was a 4-8 hour drive, and we made in around 7…..

We arrived to the SDRF at 4:00 to meet with SDRF staff and area church leaders. When I say “church leader” do not think elected council members. Instead think people who have come to Christ and desire to share this new life with others. These people are full of diligence in study and evangelism.

When we sat down with the church leaders, Jim said “What is different now that you believe in Jesus Christ?” The stories that unfolded were dynamic testimonies of a God who heals, blesses, and changes families. There was no division in the gospel – it was not merely spiritual or physical or financial, but a holistic sense of the gospel that changes lives… One testimony was from a former witch doctor, who was responsible for the health and prosperity of the community – people would come to him expecting healing ro release from the spirits, but when this did not happen, the village would blame the doctor. HE was even shot with a gun, but never died. Now he believes in Jesus, and the village has stopped blaming him (scapegoat), and instead sends sick and hurting people to him for God’s blessings and prayers. Amen.

The SDRF is a business for the community committed to raising animals (pigs and chickens) for the sake of building relationships and more healthy communities. They are also committed to health standards so that children are able to attend school (education is crucial for the development of future generations – this includes education for a vision beyond the sex industry and sweat shop labor). SDRF is a phenomenal ministry. One of their next steps is to insert iodine in their water supply. Iodine is necessary for brain development in children. We will say more when we return home.

There is so much more I would like to tell you, and will at a later time….

Day 6 – Monday with the Elephants (Part 2)

2011-01-10T23:08:00.003-06:00

We left the fish farm and headed up the mountain to ride the elephants- yes – ride an elephant. These animals are something wonderful. They carried us further up the mountain, and the ride was through a beautiful rainforest/jungle. We enjoyed our pachyderm, and the adventure was a great joy.

We traveled from the Elephant Farm to the newly purchased Thai Covenant Camp. The Thai Church has made a wise purchase to offer space and encouragement for young people to explore Christianity. The first project was the creation of a soccer field, which will provide a place of play and fellowship. There are additional plans to build a cafeteria and meeting space. Impressive.

Day 6 - Monday in Chiang Mai (Part 1)

2011-01-10T23:08:00.001-06:00

In 1995 I was working at Twin Lakes Christian Center in central Iowa. A missionary joined us for a week at camp, named Randy. Randy was creating a fish farm in Northern Thailand at the time, and he spent the week sharing the work he was preparing.

Travel 16 years later, and Lindsay and I were standing on the grounds of the fish farm alongside Randy. Randy and company have transformed a one-pond fish farm into a massive 9-12 pond farm employing 40 or so Thai.

The ministry is offering jobs, food, and community to Thai villagers. This business is for God’s glory, and resources many other businesses in the area. We were very encouraged to be at the farm. Several of our prior congregations supported this work over the years.

We were able to jump in the ponds and harvest fish eggs. The eggs are incubated in the mouths of the mother fish, so harvesting them is quite the exciting process. First you have to catch the fish in a small basket. Then you grab them in your hand, open the gills with one finger, the mouth with another. Then the eggs are flushed out of the mouth and caught in a basket. The farmers put the eggs in a hatchery and watch them grow. (The infant fish are sold to others for raising and selling on the fish market).

On Mondays the staff takes a break from 11-noon for worship. Not all of the employees are Christian, but they all respectfully participate in singing and listening to the readings of Scriptures. This is a time of encouragement for daily living and singing. Following worship they eat together. We were privileged to join them in the meal, and we enjoyed a Tilapia fish fry (the fish were from the farm).

Day 5 - Sunday

2011-01-10T23:07:00.002-06:00

There is not much to say here – we rode a train for 12 hours (plus the two hour delay in departure from Bangkok). We departed from Bangkok at 6:45 am and arrived in Chiang Mai at 11:00 pm. We were tired, to say the least.

We miss Harbert today. We greatly enjoy being in worship. We imagine that it was an energizing morning, as always.

Day 4 – Saturday (Thailand’s Children’s Day)

2011-01-10T23:06:00.001-06:00

We woke up this morning to a man’s voice over a loud-speaker. Obviously, we do not understand Thai language, but it was clear that the day of celebrating children had begun – it was 6:30 am.

Note: We have been staying in a ChumChon – known as a slum community (a derogatory term – we prefer Chum Chon, meaning neighborhood). The Chumchon is full of children and hospitality. We eat and sleep here with people of the community. Our host is Auntie (sp) and she calls Lindsay and I her “son and daughter” – it is wonderful. We eat our breakfast and evening meals at a table on the street. During breaks, we walk to the neighbor’s storefront and buy Coca-cola in glass bottles (refreshing).

Today is Children’s Day around Thailand, and we are hosting a party with the people of the neighborhood Thailand Covenant Church (also located in the Chumchon). Nitya (sp) was our local leader/hostess, and she is an incredibly organized and diligent leader. She set up several games and invited our group to manage the chaos. We had so much fun with the kids. This was an enlivening day for us.

Kyle directed the balloon popping game, which included real darts, so it was both hilarious and anxiety-producing to be sure that no children ran between the balloons and the dart-throwers. Indeed, no one was hurt and all were joyful.

We spent the afternoon recovering from the morning activites and visiting the sites of Bangkok. We traveled through the city on Tom-toms and water-taxis. It was a great day seeing the breadth of Buddhist urban culture. We went to bed early as we needed to wake up Sunday morning and take a 12-hour train ride to Chiang Mai in Northern Thailand.

Day 3 - Friday

2011-01-10T23:05:00.004-06:00

Joe and Becky operate a creative retail business in Bangkok that sells to women in the United States. Joseph (not a real name) is a graduate of Wheaton college and he and his wife, Rebekah, have created a business in the city to help women leave the prostitution and escort industry. There are multiple levels of sex-entertainment, and Joe is engaging the escort and Bar-girl scene, which is a major trade for single mothers. Joe and Becky visit bars and solicit invitations for conversation with the bar-girls. Many of these women are involved in the trade because it pays a decent wage and provides for their children. Joe and Becky invite the women to leave the bars and join their retail business.

Women join Joe and Becky for recovery and creativity. The business creates fine jewelry and clothing that ultimately is exported to the US and sold via the methods of Pampered Chef or Tupperware parties. Joe believes the women are creating high-quality goods for social conscious purchasing. The social side of the business offers counseling following the women’s decisions to exit the bar industry. Additionally, the ministry offers free child-care and housing. Joe and Becky have created a storefront for the work to be conducted, and the hours are aligned to a mother’s schedule. This holistic ministry considers image marketing, exceptional goods, and personal dignity in its desire to rescue women from the dangerous and undignified work of the sex-industry. Ultimately, Joe and Becky want to sell enough jewelry and goods to create jobs for over 100 women at any one time. Their purpose is clear – restoration of women; their methods are also clear – job creation.

If you are interested in this ministry, you are invited to host a party. When We return we can provide you the contact information, as we do not have permission (currently) to post their names of websites online.

We also visited a Buddhist ministry and business committed to recycling and solitude.

Day 2 – Thursday (We missed Wednesday due to the International Date Line)

2011-01-10T23:05:00.002-06:00

The focus of the trip in Thailand is Money and Mission – also called “Business as Mission.” We spend a portion of each day meeting Christian business leaders (Thai business leaders and foreign business leaders).

The first meeting was with a man named Chat. He operates a Christian bookstore that includes Bible Study books, encouraging films, and other media.

Chat is innovative. There are Christian bookstores all over the country, namely in larger cities. These bookstores hope that passers-by will enter their stores and purchase their Christian books. The storefront operations believe that simply by store “presence” Buddhist Thai and others will enter the storefronts allowing the store-owners to witness to the gospel.

Chat believes otherwise. Chat thinks that most of the Christian books and media are for the encouragement of Thai Christians and church leaders. He wants to encourage and equip churches with exceptional Christian books and media (published in the Thai language) for the purposes of being a Christian presence in their own towns and villages. In this regard, Chat spends more time traveling around Thailand visiting Christians and house churches. He sells Thai Christian music and devotional guides to those looking to grow in Christ. His traveling bookstore is very effective, and he is able to provide materials in villages and towns that have never before had access to publications – yet these villages have been Christian villages for some time.

Spotty communication

2011-01-10T23:04:00.000-06:00

Unfortunately the vidoes and photos we had hoped to post today are on our computer, but wi-fi access is impossible. We will post more two days from now.

Thwe trip is going very well. We are healthy and engaged in good conversations on mission as business. We are talking with people who are doing business for God's glory - they ccreate jobs for formner prostitutes, offer sustainable services to communities and serve as encouragement in a culutre that needs it..

We hope all is well wherever you are. Mroe to come on Sunday.

Kyle and Lindsay

Day 1 - Traveling to Thailand

2011-01-10T23:03:00.000-06:00

Day 1 - Tuesday

We departed Chicago bright and early, and on-time. The flight to Tokyo was 12 hours, and thankfully, Lindsay and I were able to sleep for most of the journey. It helped that we had bulk-head seats.

Arriving in Tokyo invited time to walk around the airport. We were hoping for a light sushi meal, instead we enjoyed a Japanese fish-bowl, consisting of noodles, fish parts and soup broth. Overall, a great experience.

We arrived in Bangkok late at night (mid-day Michigan time). The hotel accommodations were excellent, namely because of the warm shower that greeted us prior to an eight-hour rest. We rested relatively well, and awoke in the morning to a wonderful first full day.

Thailand - Thoughts on our Minds

2011-01-03T09:36:00.000-06:00

In the midst of preparing to leave for Thailand several things are on our minds:

1. Our children - enough said.

2. Our loving, caring, and generous Church - Harbert Community Church has kept up with our fast-aced living since we arrived, and our trip to tHailand is no exception. The freedom they grant us to live into discipleship is wonderful, and we hope that our many adventures return the blessing that they grant to us. Pray for Kelly Boersma - who started full time at HCC this week! and also for Erin McDermott, our pastoral resident, who, together, will do an incredible job at leading the church in our absence. Also pray for Knute Larson who is preaching on Sunday, January 9.

3. The Andersons, Nortons, and Armfields - The three angels who will be caring for our children. This is a big endeavor for them, and as Jim Hannenberg said at worship yesterday - "though many are praying for you, I am praying for the people taking care of your children." Well said, Jim.

4. Daeng and Tipwan - These are the leaders of the Covenant Church in Thailand - they are a co-pastor couple, also. They came to Harbert in June (long before we ever considered traveling to Thailand), and we were amazed as they traveled to the US for four weeks leaving their children in Thailand - now they will be able to calm our fears as we go to them in a similar fashion. Their ministry will be a great encouragement to us!

5. Our Group - The North Park Seminary students traveling with us, most of whom we have not yet met. Pray for health, safety, and joy as we engage one another on the flight over, during our travels, and on the way home. Traveling in groups forms great bonds, and we look forward to making new friends.

6. Thailand Christians - We are always blessed and amazed at the mutual learning from Christians around the world. We look forward to learning from one another about live-in-Christ through our different locations, cultures, and understandings.

7. Our children.

We covet your prayers for safety, health, and presence as we leave tomorrow morning for Chicago.

Preparing for Thailand

2010-12-29T21:15:00.000-06:00

We leave for Thailand on january 4 and we are hoping to tell our stories in e-form on this blog. It may be that our posts are sporadic or even absent depending on wifi connections once we arrive in Thailand. Stay tuned to this page and whether or not we post, please keep us in your prayers.

BEING TRUSTED (Part Two)

2010-11-01T15:14:00.002-05:00

The question of being called, gifted, and located invited me to a place of revival. The wise-man’s question forced me to remember by what authority I have to lead – Trust. God, who calls and places, is the One of great trust and by whom I and the congregation have life.

I am coming to the point that TRUST from the congregation is our grounding. Please hear me clearly, pastors do not operate primarily from the congregation’s trust in the pastor, but their trust in God and God’s faithfulness. This trust in God is strong enough that it is shared, even imparted, onto us, the pastors. This is no small gift or impartation. Congregations trust pastors as gift.

In the same way, trust from God is also on the congregation. This is the economy for which the pastor can stay engaged and empowered. The pastor believes that the church is the people of God, worthy to be trusted. (I might be on thin ground for some of my colleagues).

I have been long troubled by trust, as it continues the ambiguity in the pastoral vocation (this is why counting heads on Sunday is such a fulfillment to what the vocation can often lack – certainty). Yet despite the concern, I am not willing to let it go. My discontent with the notion of trust is ultimately theological.

Two separate narratives invite the insane notion of God’s trust for us and welcome us to consider how we might trust our congregations (and vice versa). The first narrative occurs in Genesis 18 – The Oaks of Mamre. God trusts Abraham and Sarah enough to request a meal. Despite Sarah’s laughter, Abraham and Sarah respond with hospitality. Trust was extended and upheld. “Trust begets trust,” according to Leadership gurus Kouzes and Posner.

The second narrative of trust is less copacetic – the story of Incarnation. Jesus Christ comes into the world, a man, and relies on this world for life. He is born in a barn—vulnerable—and he engages the world with a posture of openness and the practice of listening (he has everything Kouzes and Posner require for a culture of trust, See The Leadership Challenge). In return both those of his community and those outside, not too mention his own disciples, abandon him to the point of death, even death on a cross. He trusts and he dies. He seeks trust and he is rejected. In this story, trust does not beget trust….

The theological practice of trust is tenuous if we are seeking safety, security and affirmation. In the narratives, God trusts us for hospitality, and the gift is both offered and rejected. Sure, this is not good news, on first read, but it is good news in the end. The One who trusts is worthy to be trusted, and we need not put our trust in horses, chariots or humanity. This gives both pastors and congregations great freedom to live without need for perfection or control. The Church is no longer primarily an organization to be managed but a people to be enlivened - even if we (the pastor, congregation, or both) are relegated to a cross….. for we know who speaks on behalf of those are rejected.

Being trusted becomes a beginning point, not one for arriving.

Being Trusted (Part I): Trust – The manner of all things pastoral and congregational

2010-11-01T15:13:00.002-05:00

I have been engaged in several conversations recently about pastoral identity and practice, including use of power, definitions of leadership, and the freedom of the vocation, namely through the schedule. Brooks Holifield quotes it best, “ministers will apparently have to live with a higher degree of tension and ambiguity as a normal way of life” (In God’s Ambassadors, 311). I think most of us, pastors, do feel ambiguity. I wonder, however, if ambiguity is what we sense, because we cannot recognize the capaciousness of the pastoral vocation as a gift of trust. I wonder if churches, by and large, operate out of incredible trust of their pastors, which is uncertain, and even, unsettling for the pastoral soul. This is good news.

I think trust is the contents of all we (pastors) have, and this scares us (me). In response, we try to force the vocation into a performance-orientation, so we attend every meeting, keep full calendars, assist in making copies, managing budgets, overseeing ministries, and managing a plethora of details. There have even been times where I involve myself with changing lightbulbs. I think we are unsure of how trusted we are (or should be), so we, instead, try to make our lives work-oriented and forget our vocations, which call us to different tasks and practices (not that the assigned tasks are above or below these, only different than).

Several months ago I was in a Pastoral Relations meeting speaking of the ambiguity of the job. I spoke of how uneasy I felt about my schizophrenic schedule – one week I am interacting with children in Sunday school, the next attending meeting-after-meeting, and the next quietly reading and writing in my office. Some weeks I find myself walking the roads of SW Michigan encountering neighbors and strangers. I expressed my confusion to the PRC over what “exactly” is needed from me, and I asked them to help me sort it out.

The chair of the PRC, a wise and faithful man, looked at me and said, “do you think you are running an organization or leading a church?”

This was the question I needed. He invited me to reconsider the congregation as the people of God, first. The organizational, business, and ministry detail questions are not my primary concern. The growth of the church and the appeasement of the masses is relegated to God, not to me. My primary concern is to be who God called me to be: teacher, preacher, liturgical architect, and friend. When I get overly involved in property, finance, children and youth ministries, I take away enjoyable work from others who are gifted in these ways. When I take on too much social concern or a desire for feedback, I fail to rest in the grace of God who called me to be faithful. When this happens, I stop being.

Working with Tumblr.

2010-10-31T13:52:00.002-05:00

Does this arrive to the new world (to me it is new) of tumblr?

Curated Conversations in The Classroom: A Beginning (revised)

2010-10-25T20:35:00.002-05:00

Curation: A democratic practice that welcomes contributions from everyone, but not for everything. The curated conversation is not rapid response or open, but gathered, focused, and crafted in response to what stands in front of us. There is space to breathe, to wonder, but also freedom to listen trusting that we are going somewhere, together.

--

Media, the distribution of messages and information, is a nearly ubiquitous "thing" that invades our every corner. Media is so strong and controlling that mentioning a popular or loaded concept draws confusion (and often debate) before one ever dons exploratory ears. Media, which is a difficult concept in its own right to define, has created an openness that welcomes too many "viruses" and too few conversations.

There is something within the ubiquity that draws us in, that appears usable, and even, important. Steve Rosenbaum writes, "Mixed in with this cacophony of consumer content, there is contextually relevant material that needs to be discovered, sorted." Rosenbaum is speaking in regards to advertising and his pursuit of curation is different than here, yet I think his point on curation is helpful.....

I wonder if curation, or the curator, - the art and science of a museum - is one possible way to consider developing conversations that are educational, formational, and civil..... And based on the image below - the curator need not be an un-fun persona.... (this was taken from the Brown University Office of the Curator webpage (Rhode Island).

A curator in a museum welcomes everyone to come and see and even respond as the participant desires, yet the basis for response is set before them – the museum’s collection. Museum visitors trust the curator to create something that invites them in and invites response. The curator takes seriously his/her entrustment with this task. In this way, being an educator is curation. Clara Drummond, a young(er) curator in New York put it this way, ““Teaching is about engaging students by telling a good story and that’s what a good curator does, too.” Educators are persons entrusted to work diligently to frame content - to tell a story, to invite response, and to honor the participants with substantive “art.”

No Longer in Egypt - says the big boy

2010-10-10T08:06:00.001-05:00

This morning we are continuing our series in worship – Down By the Riverside. We explore God’s revelatory power in the Red Sea as he frees the Israelites, finally, from the Pharaoh’s arrogance and enslavement. The following story is one reflection on how we often engage our worlds…..

Anxiety – worrying about the things you can’t change

Arrogance – controlling the past things only God can change.

In Exodus, God reveals amidst Israel’s anxiety and Egypt’s arrogance.

Friday morning - Micah gave up his “nooks” otherwise known as a pacifier. It was a big deal. Now Micah would never have his pacifier during his daily goings-on, but at naptime and nighttime, the grand search and recovery for the nook was imperative. Without it there was no sleep – for Micah, daddy or mommy.

But on Friday morning, Micah told his mommy that he was willing to throw out his nooks; this was an ongoing conversation for the last 6 months. Micah knew that giving them up meant that he could buy a big boy scooter. We agreed to the decision as a family and proceeded to Target – home of the Buzz Lightyear Big Boy Scooter and Helmet (safety first).

We arrived at Target, confronted the trash can, and Micah, himself, tossed the plastic preoccupations into the trash – We were victorious – it was his first escape from Egypt.

There we were, Micah and I, hemmed in the aisles of Target, and we strutted all through the aisles searching for the Toy Story Trophy. We found it, alongside the helmet, and we proceeded to the checkout (via diapers, hair gel, and various sundry items). We returned home half-past dark, and immediately put together the scooter…. Within 3 minutes (or an hour) the scooter was assembled and Micah, with helmet strapped, cruised around the dining room on his new Buzz Lightyear Scooter. It was a taste of the Promise Land – huu-rah!

After another hour of riding, it was time for bed. I was putting Madeline to bed when I heard sobs of anxiety and misery from the other room, “I want my nooks…. Please get my nooks… why did we do that ,…. mommy help me….” Lindsay said that he was almost asleep before the tears started, but as she was leaving his bedside, he said with wide eyes of concern, “Oh No – my nooks.” The misery ensued.

I entered the room amidst an inch of watershed collecting on the floor from the eyes of a little boy.

I sat beside him and asked, “Should we take the Scooter back and retrieve the nooks.” I was sure he would say, “No,” for he already bonded with the Scooter.

I was wrong. In as clear a voice as a sobbing three year old could muster he said, “Yes, daddy, take it back. I want my nooks.”

Clear as day – he said to me –

“Daddy, Egypt wasn’t that bad! Let’s go back! Back there: I could sleep, you could sleep, and everyone got along when I had my nooks. Now look at us – all three of us in this wilderness of nookless bedtime, and no one is sleeping – my sheets are wet with tears, you and mommy are stressed out – let’s go back to the way it used to be!”

Mom and dad persevered – we saw the Sea of promise ahead of us – we knew he could cross it, and sure enough 45 minutes later – near 9:45 – our little boy was fast asleep.

When he woke up the next morning at 6:15 am, he came downstairs to celebrate. We did it – we made it through.

Micah and I got dressed, strapped on the helmet and walked through our neighborhood wilderness and feasted on Luisa’s donuts. We waltzed with tambourine (scooter bell) in hand and sang Miriam’s song…. “Sing to the Lord, for he has triumphed gloriously.”

Micah spent Saturday playing on his new scooter – confident, joyous, and proud – seeing that being a Big Boy is ahead... Last night, he entered slumber quickly and easily without one memory of Egypt!

‘Do not be afraid, stand firm, and see the deliverance that the Lord will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you see today you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to keep still.’

The Spirit Speaking from My Phone

2010-10-09T09:19:00.001-05:00

I think the Holy Spirit has descended into my iPhone with a very clear message. "I am not a person - look up, for the people are standing in front of you..."

Earlier this week I encountered an acquaintance on the sidewalk. He was looking down at his phone as we approached, and I kindly said, Hello friend (using his name in place of friend). He looked up and said hello and returned to his cellular-powered screen. I asked him a quick question to which he quickly looked up again and shot back an answer. I was somewhat offended, but more so convicted. How passed off I felt by his interaction with a less human device.

I returned home to recount the story to Lindsay, who graciously listened and never once said, “now you know how I feel when you have your phone in your hands.” She easily could have said that very thing. Instead, as always, she listened, and allowed me to walk myself into revelation. I said to her, “I do that to you sometimes, huh?” “Yes,” she said. And then we moved on to discuss other things.

A second recent event heightens the importance of the Spirit speaking in my phone. I was talking with my mentor (via phone) this week. He wisely asked me how I created space for Sabbath and family. I mentioned that it is sometimes hard to focus when I arrive home for many reasons, but I also mentioned that I have a hard time not looking at my phone. He stated that he shuts off his phone when he walks into his home, and he is fully present for his wife and children. He asked me if I could do the same – “no way” I said. My response was the Spirit speaking through me. The lack of ability to consider it was a Pentecostal moment where God said – “yes way.” I am still considering whether God and my friend are right.

I think the voice of God was finally received this morning. Without details, I began the day looking at my phone and did not hear a question from my family. This upset the apple cart and we needed to restart the day again. I was amazed at how easy it is to tune out the world when we are perched behind a backlit screen. What is it about “USA TODAY”, “HBR” and “Angry Birds” that whisks us away from where we are to the land of “APPville?”

I was irritated when the man on the sidewalk brushed me off. How much more irritated would I be if it weren’t a mere acquaintance but my spouse or my children or a close friend? We know phones are as much distraction as assistance, but I am finding more and more – at restaurants, church meetings, business partnerships, etc. that the phone in our hands takes precedence over the friends standing right in front of us.

I am trying something over the next month to help me reconsider God’s voice speaking in my phone. I put on my calendar for Thursday nights (when I return home from Chicago) to turn off my phone. The calendar event says, “SABBATH REST – turn off your phone and be present.” It will be there at 7:45 pm on Thursday evenings and again at 8:00 am Friday morning (lest I forget the night’s before message). If Sabbath is part of God’s desire for reconciliation – I think I want to participate.

“You are all black” and the assembly said, “How’s that going to work?” The effect of Atonement in a mixed race community. – Reflections on Brian Bantum at the Symposium (REVISED)

2010-09-24T11:50:00.001-05:00

Brian Bantum presented at the North Park Symposium on the Theological Interpretation of Scripture. He teaches at Seattle Pacific University. Bantum utilizes Leviticus 16 and the Scapegoat tradition to consider the ecclesia as a dynamic Christ-formed community – inaugurated by Jesus returning from the wilderness with “his new friends.” He has some textual issues at stake in his work that cause complications, and he will need to respond to the nuances of the texts he is using. Also, I may not be committed to the Scapegoat model of the atonement, exactly, yet I welcome the biblical play and contemporary practices the conversation invites. The following reflection continues his playfulness with the Scapegoat tradition.

Bantum poetically moved through his paper, citing Karl Barth, race theory, and Anselm. He utlizies these voices as he works through the Scapegoat tradition (Leviticus 16). The tradition is the practice of sending a second lamb out to the wilderness to bear sin of the people on the day of Atonement. The Scapegoat is sent outside the camp in place of the pure lamb. The Scapegoat – the Azazel (literally goat of escape) – bears the sins of the people. The scapegoat is sent away to the torturous wilderness never to be seen again meaning that the sins of the people have been forever expelled from the community forever). The pure goat remains in the temple as a sacrifice to the Lord for the purification of Israel.

The cross-event of Christ invites that Jesus is first the Scapegoat who is sent into the torturous wilderness and “cursed for hanging on a tree” (Deuteronomy 21 and Galatians 3). In the assumed death of the Azazael - what remains is the pure lamb in the city. Symobilically speaking, in the death of Jesus, what remains is the Jewish community (and Rome), including the Pharisees – who might as well consider themselves the pure lamb – recipients of the Lot of the Lord. To simply say it - Historically, Jesus was the scapegoat and the Jewish community (and Roman empire) was pure and holy. But this is not the end of the story....

Bantum takes seriously yet playfully the Scapegoat model as he moves toward the “effect” of atonement. The Jewish community, indeed the entire Roman world, believed that the death of Jesus on the cross was the annihilation of the Scapegoat. However, the scapegoat is never eternally gone, both mimetically and physically (remains remain), and this is even before we consider the resurrection. As William Brown says, “there is no true elimination, for the scapegoat never really leaves. Nothing is ever destroyed. Just ask the physicist.” (See Symposium, William Brown). In the entire death event, Christians confess that the scapegoat never really leaves….. especially when the Scapegoat – the Azazael – is the resurrected Christ.

The Scapegoat “was sent” to the torturous wilderness, (was crucified, dead and buried, he descended into hell) but he then returned to the surprise of everyone. He returned in Sommersby fashion, and this time he comes with his friends. And his friends are not the normal pure lot, but a whole host of others – Gentiles, Samaritans, women and children, etc. The resurrection - the fullness of the atonement - occurs, and the pure community says “Oh No, what now?" What the community cannot accept is that Azazael returns and appears to be the lamb of the Lot of the Lord (Leviticus 16) – pure and spotless.

This conception of the Scapegoat tradition has substantial ecclesial/church connections. The community – the people of God - is transformed when the Scapegoat returns with his friends. Bantum proposes that when the Scapegoat returns with his friends to the temple, he announces we are different – even if we still think we are the same – there is an expansion that occurs and a reconciliation that is expected. Bantum, a theologian concerned about race says, the Scapegoat model of atonement is as saying to a predominantly white room at NPTS today, “you are black.” The white folk in the room would say, “How is that going to work?” The black folk in the room might say “Yes I am, but what about the white folk around me?” The returned Scapegoat says, “You are all the people of God.” The original Jewish man-folk say, “yes” yet suspiciously glance at the Gentile and the Samaritan and say, “How’s that going to work?”

In the atonement – there is an incorporation of multiple peoples into one community (not one ethnos, per se) but one reconciled community, for which division, hatred, and exclusion is not-possible. The Scapegoat has become the “lot of the Lord,” and he always returns with his friends.

The atonement ecclesia is a church of those who have always been and never have been. All are given a name in the Atonement community, for which all are welcomed into its effect. The people of God is now the circumcised and not; the man and woman; the slave and free; the Gentile and Jewish community. This is a new humanity – a new people of God broader and more complicated than before. And those who were here before and never before ask in unison, “How is that going to work?”

Meeting with Priscilla and Aquilla – TruthSeekers and the Becchetti’s

2010-09-24T11:20:00.000-05:00

I am in Chicago this weekend for the Symposium on the Theological Interpretation of Scripture. The Symposium used to have the title, “for the church” at the end, but I am not sure this is still true. Anyway…..

I had the privilege of spending an early morning hour prior to the conference with Noel and Kyle Becchetti of TruthSeekers – they happen to be in town for a variety of activities. TruthSeekers (TS) is a reconciliation ministry in India seeking to reconcile the oppressive caste system. It is led by Sunil Sardar and a team of Indian Christians. Kyle and Noel work alongside as North American partners. TS is also embarking in a Bile project as TruthSeekers throughout India are asking for a new translation that considers the complexity of India’s religious history, namely Hinduism and the caste system. I encourage you to look into the ministry and consider participation.

Beyond the ministry, Kyle and Noel have become phantom mentors for Lindsay and me. They have worked together in ministry for decades, including overseeing the Center for Student Missions for some time. They work well together, despite their different personalities (possibly because of them). I enjoy them equally, and recognize their mutual call.

When I realized that Lindsay and I would enter the peculiar life of vocation co-pastoring, I knew others who shared the call. I am quite thankful for their ministry, their concept of shared leadership/decision-making, and the office of marriage. We have been fortunate to work with several co-pastoring teams (Burnett’s, Fondell’s, Burger’s, and Becchetti’s), and the witness of their work has been to our maturity and the Kingdom’s glory. We hope to continue in the priestly heritage of Priscilla and Aquilla – Becchetti’s it was good to see you.

Pastors doing Visitation: From Pastoral Duty to Patient Advocacy

2010-09-22T15:45:00.004-05:00

The pastoral practice of visitation is one of the great blessings but also a difficult practice. Visitation is often seen as the latter amidst the overly busy-ness orientation of the vocation. Almost everyday I could visit someone in the nursing home or visit the hospital. It rarely seems that the request for visitation comes at a time when pastors can actually accomplish the visit. There are multitudes of other tasks to accomplish - phone calls, Bible studies, staff conversations, ministry structures management, etc. Days already go to quickly, so mustering up the energy to drive 20-40 minutes to a hospital can seem to exhausting to accomplish.

Most contemporary pastors have made the argument that visitation is NOT the job of a pastor, but a gift and calling for Christians of all sorts, especially those gifted with mercy, hospitality, and service. I make this argument all of the time to faithful Christians who question my time regarding visitation (I do it generously with my eyebrows raised in a positive tone). I am firmly committed to inviting parishoners into visitation ministry. Homebound and hospitalized persons have been blessed on many accounts by having a visitor, whether a long-time friend or a friendly stranger who stops by their home or hospital room for a brief conversation. This is a ministry of healing, in my opinion.

This post began noting the difficult and argumentative natures of visitation, but today I was reminded of the need for visitation within the pastoral office. I went to visit a 90 year old in the hospital today – we will call him Hurley. Hurley suffered a minor heart-attack (I didn’t know at 90 one could have a MINOR heart attack). I arrived at the hospital to greet him. He looked remarkably healthy considering he had a heart attack and a procedure within 12 hours. Hurley was confused, as he struggles with memory loss, but he was conversant. We spent about an hour together, and during the time the discharge nurse stopped by to question Hurley’s home environment. He was able to answer a few questions, but several were to complicated or beyond his memory. Because I have visited him before and spoke with his wife, often, I was able to answer a few questions for him. My work as visitor became patient advocate.

I firmly believe churches – the peoples of God – should form friendly visitor teams and partner homebound and elderly persons with “friendly strangers.” Pastors should consider participation as a personal act of discipleship. The partnership turns merely from friendly visitor to friendly advocate when our new friends (not clients or patients) need advocacy whether regarding health care or elder care. I never considered visitation as patient advocacy, nor as an act of justice. Today I was converted. I was blessed by visiting with Hurley, and hopefully he was liberated by my advocacy. I want other Christians to experience this mutual blessing.

Sidenote: One of the most important points of advocacy today occurred when Hurley asked me when his wife was coming. I mentioned that she would arrive by 9:30. He said “WHEN?!” The clock on his wall said it was 4:14 am when it was actually 9:05. The date said January 1, 2001. I went to the nurses’ station and asked the nurse to change the clock – Hurley has enough variables to deal with – the time and date doesn’t need to be one of them.

Meeting a New Friend - Anastasios

2010-09-20T10:24:00.000-05:00

As many know my son, Micah, has a practice of noticing children at the park, church, or beach from several hundred feet away. Before he can make out facial details, he has pronounced them his friends and quickly rushes to greet them. I love this about him.

On Saturday night, I had the chance to notice someone I had never met. Before greeting him I had decided he was my friend. For the sake of clarity, we will name him Anastasio and Andy, for short. Andy is a few years older, has a rabbi’s beard, and Ray Bradbury’s Illustrated Man tattoos. He has little current connection to Christian faith, but has a history connected to Christian community. Today, he lives in a compound amidst a forest with his wife, staff members, and random squatters and travelers.

On Sunday night, I was fortunate to meet Andy and his father for a beer at a local tavern (John Weborg talks about the location of God is the tabernacle and tavern). We sat down and his father invited a conversation between the two younger men on our different understandings of community. My community is obviously the church; Andy’s community is the Tree House in the forest.

Andy began by talking about the social identity and values of his people in the forest. He talk about integrity, authenticity, and commitment to the social establishment of the Tree House. He discussed the power of conversation with newcomers, long-serving staff members, the board of directors, and the nature around them. He also shared about the networks and friendships that develop among the dwellers. He ended the first part f his explanation ot the community discussing what happens when visitors come who do not share the values and commitments of the forest. He mentioned that they are socially marginalized, aka ignored. If the visitors continue to dwell, the manager of the community invites the visitor to consider moving on; most often the dweller understands and soon-thereafter departs from the Forest. (I thought this sounded helpfully like Matthew 18 in some ways and more rigid in others).

Andy finished his statement, and I began considering how I would discuss my community. However, before I responded, his father asked if the people in the forest were pagans. The response neither confirmed nor denied, but instead invited a great story of “faith practice,” namely spiritual conversation with the trees in the forest.

Andy said that the tree house community was committed to religious practice. He compared his conversation with the forest to contemplative prayer. His story reminds me of transcendentalist, Henry David Thoreau. Andy enters the forest when life seems to be disconnected, exhausting, and chaotic. He listens to the spirit of the forest - the trees, the earth, the plants speak. He asks them for wisdom, for daily needs, for clarity on relationships. When he returns to the treehouse, the days seem to unfold answers to his petitions. The spirit of the forest responds to him in powerful and providential ways. He gives testimony to peace, reconciliation, and even provision following his times in the forest. Andy clearly has a sense of earthly peace that is both intriguing and inviting.

After Andy shared his wonderful story, he turned to me, and said, “so why the church?” I clarified the question – “Are you asking why a young person like me in a growingly non-churched world would invest himself in such an albatross as the church?” Yes, he said. What is it about the church draws someone like you?

I went on to recount the values, relationships, and commitments of the local churches that have blessed me from an early age. I shared with him that I knew the warts and worries of the church, yet the church was the place that welcomed me to become a man, and despite its warts I wanted to be a part of it. I shared my personal story of having young parents who were welcomed as adults, saved by grace, into the life of a local church. More theologically, I shared of my love for the Triune God and the presence of the Spirit in my life. I unintentionally mirrored his story of praying in the forest to my daily practice of the Divine Hours. I shared that the same sense of belonging and identity that he finds in the treehouse, I find in the church (believe it or not).

Then the father interjected: “So are you willing to trade the church for the treehouse?” This was a perceptive and helpful question from the listening father in our midst. I paused, and responded “no.” I am not willing to give up Jesus and the power of the resurrection. I imagine Anastasio would feel similarly – he is not willing to give up the forest for the church – whether a building, organization or the people of God. To do so would be to unbaptize the church and reduce the spirit of the forest. The father agreed.

It is not often that I am able to engage such peculiar people. Andy was a gift to me. We shared testimony not doctrine – we conversed not debated. I was disarmed from persuasion, and the physical peculiarities of the beard and tattoos were refreshing to my Midwest ordinary lifestyle. It was good to be together story-telling. Yet the stories were not childish tales, but lives abundant – committed, valued, and oriented to a more good and just world. I think that as a Christian I have something to learn from the forest without needing to adopt the forest as my new world. And I do whole-heartedly believe that the spirit in the forest might very well be the Holy Spirit of Romans 8 speaking to the tree-dwellers. Indeed, if this could be so – then Anastasio might be hearing the very voice of the resurrected God in a very peculiar place, but I will wait to hear if indeed God dwells even in the treehouse – I believe God does – the One of the Resurrection.

Talking Through (dia-logue), Talking with (com-vertere)

2010-09-20T10:19:00.002-05:00

I have been teaching a class for three weeks now, and I am impressed that students are attentive to hearing rightly. At the same time that I celebrate their desire, I am also concerned that they miss the chance to bless one another, for their aural orthodoxy makes them quite hesitant to speak, sometimes. When they venture into speech, it is not only thoughtful but also expansive to the topic at hand. It is my hope that as the semester goes on their hesitancy will decrease, their freedom to make “speech mistakes” will increase, and all the while their aural orthodoxy will remain.

In other venues, I have noticed a “talking through” one another. The situations are supposedly wiser, more diligent persons who ought to know how to hear and enter into conversation. There is an ecclesial emphasis on promoting “conversation” or “dialogue” for the process of greater collaboration and faithfulness. The latter word is probably the more appropriate term – dialogue. One literal meaning of dia-logue is “talking through.” Dialogue often assumes two persons “across” from one another positing points that can tend to be contrary to one another. Conversation is considered less formal, less didactic, and more open than dialogue. However, conversation is not chit-chat. The middle-English nature of the word implied familiarity, intimacy, and living among. Conversation implies highly relational; dialogue implies oppositional. I hope to pursue places of civil speech – where understanding is pursued through aural orthodoxy.

Dialogue – The Hallway Discourse

The image that comes to mind when I think of dialogue is two persons standing against a wall talking back and forth – there seems to be an urgency to it; a willingness to hear and understand but the complications of standing on your feet in a hallway with passersby. The setting seems to warrant speech that leas to action – the posture of the speakers (standing) and the setting (public hallway) don’t allow raising voices, nuances, or lingering – the words need to lead toward action, for the hallway moment may soon pass and the speakers will need to return to their cubicles, classrooms, or formal meetings. Dialogue has an urgency to it that forces thoughts to action without the needed nuances, pauses, and reflections…

Conversation – Dwelling at Table

Conversation is an invitation to a multi-course meal with family, long-time friends, and even first-time guests (friendly strangers). At the table, there are water, wine, and coffee glasses. The drinks welcome speakers to pause from speaking and sip, while other speakers continue. The food is prepared to encourage patient speech amongst the practice of enjoying each morsel (parents of young children might be unfamiliar with this concept of eating more slowly). The night starts on-time but lingers to an undetermined time. Good-byes last 10-30 minutes, usually summarizing the conversation and assuring the hosts and guests that the time together was worthwhile. Conversation has a patience to it that forces relationship to be at the center, including nuances, pauses, and reflections.

I am a Christian, and I think I am guilty of spending more time in dialogue than in conversation. The cell phone is one of my chief locations for the repeated aural and illocutionary sins. The home is a second place, and my church office the third. I grant the to-do lists in each of these spaces to take over the chance for conversation. In the process I delete my values of relationship and elevate function over friendship.

I encourage my students to be free to speak, for they are deeply committed to hearing well. I pray that they can keep their aural practice while they learn to be more bold, and through it all that we create a conversation for understanding and action.

The vocation

2010-09-03T09:07:00.000-05:00

I think it is interesting that Duke's study on pastoral health has garnered attention on major news outlets. I think the study shows some disturbing trends in my tribe, but I also think it is a bit lopsided. Maybe some of the assumptions within our vocation skew the way we understand health.

For example, we often romanticize the monastic tradition and believe, in part, that care of self should have a monastic quality. We also adopt from the 1960/70s therapeutic ministry movement and believe "I'm okay you're okay" as a pastoral truism. Finally, we face the tension of wanting to be authentic but at times also feeling the need "to be the Christian that everyone else wants to be," and so self-care becomes a ritual to "perfection." I am interested in how lawyers, teachers, medical professionals, stay-at-home parents, and administrative assistants hear the discussions about pastors and self-care.

I remember going away for a church trip (pastors' conference), and when I returned I said to my wife (also a pastor but did not attend the conference) "I am wiped - I need some alone time to recover." My feelings were true, but at the same time my seminary-formed expectations of boundaries and self-care overshadowed my wife's frustration - she had been home with our two kids for five days, ALONE, and our youngest was cutting new teeth. She desired some alone-time, and deservedly so.

I'm still unraveling my thoughts on the Duke study, and I am not sure how to assess my tribe. I'm not even sure about how I feel about the words, "self-care" as the very grammar seems contrary to the theology we desire to practice - it tends toward the therapeutic and not the kenotic (Philippians 2). On one hand, I talk with my father, who is in sales, and thank God that I am not trying to post budget numbers in a make-no-sense-day-to-day economy. On the other hand, I wish my work was less ambiguous and tension-filled (Hollifield, God's Ambassadors) than it is and has been throughout American history. In the end, though I do not have to post numbers nor do I have clarity - I have a pretty phenomenal life - I preach good news in a world full of apocalyptic messages; I welcome infants into the world through dedication and baptism; I participate in the world-to-come through services of the resurrection (funerals); and I am able to promote questions that foster conversation, difficult choices, and questions the powers of this world - it's my job. It is also my job to not work alone - we invite laity, other pastors, and the Holy Spirit to make the gospel LIFE. It is a good world to work.

Yes, there are times when I am depleted, concerned about the coming conflicts, and wondering if I am making any difference at all. But so are my parents, my congregants, and my community. These life questions are not isolated to the pastorate; I believe the questions are exaggerated due to the assumption that pastors are full of assurance. I think not.

In these moments when depletion, anxiety, and doubt arise, I know what I need to do, and it is usually a Romans 7 moment of decision. When I succeed to follow the Holy Spirit's leading, I walk away from the desk, the phone calls, the non-important-but seemingly urgent emails, and I put on my running shoes for exercise, return to The Divine Hours for centering reflection, or just walk home to play with my children for an hour or two. This is the flexibility my work offers, and to ignore the flex in pursuit of the urgent turns into a failure of Christian practice, monastic or otherwise.

Evangelicalism - responding to romantic and global notions

2010-08-02T11:58:00.000-05:00

I appreciate the movement of well-known and intelligent evangelicals giving voice to the global evangelical church. I appreciate that they speak to their our own conservative and western/white audiences and invite them to consider a broader definition and practice of evangelicalism.

This said, as a non-minority, American male, I also want to be hesitant with how far I go into global definitions at the expense of dealing with the socially embodied definitions of my own "tribe."

First, global evangelicalism can too often become one thing. I am not sure we want to do this - Anglican Africans are included in evangelicalism as are Pentecostal Asians and underground house churches. What about Latin American base communities of the Roman Catholic Church? By using the label global evangelicalism I wonder if it is too often a romanticized view that undercuts and further limits the actual voice of the world-wide churches?

Second, the word global evangelicalism is often romanticized as a spirit-moving faith that is outside cultural trappings. Evangelicalism in the US white world is entrapped to conservatism, male hegemony, entertainment-culture, consumerism, scientific rationalism and individualism, etc. Global evangelicalism is often entrapped within cultural particularities. I will not speak to these, but no one, not one, is free from the complexities of external environments (often called culture). I would like to romanticize the global church as a critique of my own, but this is too comparative in nature. I believe theology that is exposed by comparison will be less likely to experience a redemption of the tradition. Church, ekklesia, is a cultural articulation, and broad sweeping generalizations, even geographical, seem to lead to the same problem of evangelicalism in the US - misunderstanding.

Third, evangelicalism, even if labeled as global, is continually heard in anglo-US communities with the trappings and gifts and difficulties (most often with the latter). We write about it as the best of the US trappings, but I am not sure this is fair to the brother and sister churches. This entraps them to our definitions. It is true that the non-western church is growing and will affect (is affecting) the American church. Why don't we talk about the global mainline church, but much of global evangelicalism is also part of liberal American denominations.

Moving back to the neighborhood of Anglo-US evangelicalism:

I was teaching at Seattle University last week. Seattle U is a progressive Roman Catholic school of Jesuit persuasion. The students in the course were largely ecumenical - from mainline denominations. I identified myself as evangelical early on and proceeded to unpack what this means throughout the course. It is clear that the term is misunderstood - often equated with fundamentalism, anti-intellectual, republicanism..... which holds up under substantial sociological evidence.

On the third day, the students had hinted at a desire to "know" what evangelicalism is, according to the professor. one student mentioned, "is there a difference between "eVan-gelical" and "Evangelical"? I was unsure what she was asking, but she heard a subtle difference in the way I "said" the word. This started the students on a series of self-understandings of the word. Most wanted something within evangelical (regardless of the syllabic emphasis) but were also cautious to appropriate it. My sense is that what we are trying to say about "global evangelicalism" is what these students want to appropriate.

I attempted to offer them the frameworks for how I define the word. I offered the definition I borrow from my own denomination - The Evangelical Covenant Church. (Sidenote: depending on what local church or region of participation, Evangelical is understood in one of two ways: 1) a connection to the European "evangelical" of good news; 2) an American identity connected to the Great Awakenings. In fairness, I think all of us should ascribe both aspects to our self-understanding).

In the Covenant, we define evangelical as somewhere in the space between poles:

Evangelical, but not exclusive
Biblical, but not doctrinaire
Traditional, but not rigid
Congregational, but not independent

It seems to me that most evangelical traditions live in this space. Those who lean toward the right side of the pole would be traditions of post-fundamentalism, which still includes them in the Christian faith and partners in the ministry of the gospel:

We operationalize these bipolar sentiments in six affirmations. It is my understanding, as I told the class, that five of the six are applicable to historical rise of evangelicalism. The sixth and final is a particularity of the Covenant that would be problematic for most centrist evangelicals.
- We affirm the centrality of the word of God.
- We affirm the necessity of the new birth.
- We affirm a commitment to the whole mission of the Church.
- We affirm the Church as a fellowship of believers.
- We affirm a conscious dependence on the Holy Spirit.
- We affirm the reality of freedom in Christ. (Note: this is complicated in practice, but nevertheless binds the Covenant in a theologically rich and particular way. I often think it is the most attractive aspect of the church, yet also the most demanding.)
  
  There are additional assumptions within each of these that deserves unpacking, but for now, this is one definition of evangelical that takes the conversation out of the socio-political or doctrinal positions that so often limit the conversation.
  
  The students received this and believed that this is one American way to define a movement that is complicated by politics and economics. This welcomes me to appreciate my ecclesial community, while also engaging it with a prophetic word to greater grace, deeper service, and thicker salvation in Jesus Christ through the Spirit.
  
  What other definitional spaces on evangelicalism draw us into a trustworthy understanding that critiques and invites our US eccleisa to faith in Jesus by the power of the Spirit?

Suprised by Independence Day

2010-07-07T23:21:00.003-05:00

Last month during a Men’s Bible Study conversation, we were reading Ephesians 6 – namely, the text discussing, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” We asked, “who exactly are these rulers of the darkness of this world” and the response ranged from government officials to any persons in authority, including church authorities. A few comments were made on the American tendency to call all authority figures principalities and powers out of our need to be autonomous individuals, living under no one’s control.

In response, and much to my surprise, I invited the men to turn to Romans 13 to test our ideas about government and ecclesial authorities as “rulers of the darkness of this world.” (I rarely go to this text because it too easily ordains all government authorities, blindly). We read the text and questioned how this text reads the Ephesians text….

As we often do, this sparked a new question. Gunnar raised his hand following the reading of Romans 13 and asked, “based on this text, will we be celebrating Independence Day during worship on July 4? Will we sing patriotic hymns? I was looking for the nearest door, but instead, decided to engage a topic I knew had been festering under gossip elsewhere in the church.

We had an exceptional discussion on the place of patriotism within the Christian life. At least 6 WWII veterans and multiple other vets were sitting in the room, so this was an important and personal topic. We were able to agree that Sunday morning worship - worship on the Lord’s Day - was too sacred to disrupt with placing one nation as the subject of concern, for that space is reserved for the Triune God. We are not a church with an American Flag in the sanctuary, though we have one in the Narthex, and we are not an overly one-sided church, politically. We knew that nothing was not an option, so after great and lengthy discussion, we agreed that at the conclusion of worship we would have an Independence Day tribute, where we would sing, pray, and remember our great nation – which it is, as imperfect as we may be (Romans 3).

Anyway, July 4^th has come and gone, but I would like to reflect on the tribute. The planned order was simple:

Reading: Romans 13:1-12, Isaiah 26:1-13

Hymn - Faith of Our Fathers

Solo - O Beautiful for Spacious Skies

Hymn - Mine Eyes have Seen the Glory

Closing Prayer for our Nation

We completed the order, and we celebrated the joy of freedom and independence. We prayed for the nation, and we almost concluded the tribute. But then, Bud DeMoy, a 92-old gentleman known for his grace and care, slowly stood up. He asked to say something, which is highly out of character, and so we offered him a microphone. He took the microphone and began:

Imagine, if you will, that is it 1863. The president at the time was Abraham Lincoln, and his vice president was Hannibal Hamlin. President Lincoln was set to visit the dedication of the Soldiers’ National Cemetery. VP Hamlin asked if he had any remarks, and Lincoln said, ‘no’, I trust that the Minister of the Interior would take care of any remarks. VP Hamlin told him that the people will want to hear from their president.

“He retired to his room that evening,” DeMoy continued, and the following morning he emerged with the brief, yet powerful Gettysburg Address….”

DeMoy paused, took a deep breath, and proceeded to recite the address in its entirety. I could hear other elderly members of the church saying it with him. He began with a clear tone of recitation; however, his tone shifted and he spoke the words about America as if they were his own. It was a powerful sense of identity – there was new life in the words, and I was proud, in a new way, to accept that part of American history is President Lincoln, who was able to reunite a divided country, live into our beliefs that all people are created equal.

When he concluded that great 246 word address, we then ended the tribute – the departing words were: “let the person and work of President Lincoln, who pursued justice and reunited a divided nation, guide our Independence Day celebrations.

I was grateful that we were able to worship God and celebrate our country without confusing the focus of worship. I was proud that we had space for Bud to speak (this could have never occurred during regular worship). And I was proud that Independence Day was not a partisan issue, but a remembrance of a great man who moved our country forward in terms of human dignity.

Words to Gettysburg Address:

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

2010-06-29T21:37:00.001-05:00

Dear Church,

I am looking forward to coming back into your presence this week. It has been a long one. The first day brought the passing of Adrian V.G., and I was sick to be away from you. The next days brought questions regarding our distance away, but these worries were resolved by the grace of Christ present in you. In presence and absence, life and death, God is beside us to walk with us in peace.

It has been an enjoyable time here, and we have labored here in the classroom and in meetings, but we have also enjoyed connecting with old friends here in the Twin Cities. We have been confirmed in our ministry with you at HCC, and it is clear to us as we give testimony that God is at work in SW Michigan through each of us, together.

This week has not offered much time for reflection, but amidst the chaos insights have arisen to invite a return home. I would like to offer one of them here:

Trusting one another:

When we came one year ago, Lindsay and I knew that we were coming to you out of trust in the Lord and nothing else. It seemed like God was confused sending us away from Minnesota, and trusting God was more than difficult at that time. One year later, after participating in worship and reconnecting at Excelsior Covenant Church, we can testify that God was not confused in sending us to Michigan. Clearly, God has led us and walks beside us in our new place, and likewise with the people at Excelsior Covenant. God is worthy of our trust.

We came to HCC with a unique call. We are the first pastors in sometime to move into the HCC neighborhood, have small children, and be committed to various ecclesial entities in the larger Covenant, academic, and the ecumenical church world. I know our life stage and pace of life seems exhausting (and sometimes it is), yet we enjoy it. We find ourselves more energized in the pulpit and the fellowship of the church through our external commitments, whether the seminary classroom, writing essays and books, serving the broader Covenant, or playing with our children. We also believe that we do these external things well because of our rootedness in the congregation. You are a gift to us that allows us to hopefully be a gift to our family, the broader church, and the world. Together, we become blessed to be blessings.

Our trust in God is being mirrored in our trust in you. We hope your trust in us is growing, even as we stretch expectations and assumptions that each of us has regarding what and who the church is. If ever trust breaks, I hope we are willing to name the reality, seek and offer forgiveness, and move forward. So far, our life together has been trustworthy - for God, the trustworthy One, is leading us. May we at HCC continue to trust one antoher that God may stay the trustworthy leader of us all.

If we can covenant together to trust that you will send us away and we will return - the blessings from and to one another will overflow.

H.i.H.O.P. Begins at HCC.

2010-05-13T09:34:00.000-05:00

May 23 is Pentecost, and here in SW Michigan several churches are joining together for the Global Day of Prayer (globaldayofprayer.com). We are anticipating this day very much. Mike Cluster, a police officer in New Buffalo, is the organizer for our area. Our prayer team was blessed by Mike's desire to see this happen, especially being a police officer who witnesses crime, injustice, and community need everyday. Mike's desire to see revival in SW Michigan is impressive and God-appointed in our estimation.

In preparation for this day, Mike asked local churches to begin praying for the Global Day of Prayer ten days prior. A prayer minister in our congregation offered the brilliant idea to make Harbert a local IHOP Prayer space (International House of Prayer) for the 10 days and utilize IHOP - Kansas City's streaming prayer room as our guide.

This morning we did this. We began at 7 am praying for our city, our churches, and our children. We seek the Lord's face in praise and worship and word each day from 7-10am and from 4-7pm. The atmosphere of the room is relaxed with standing or sitting; reading or praying; singing or speaking. It is a vision of Revelation, whereby God's people are gathered in many languages but one voice.

I arrived to church at 6:30 this morning to open the church and connect to IHOP. It is a wonderful ministry of prayer for the world. I encourage you to check it out. Release judgments and enter into the space seeking mercy - for you, your community, and the world.

For the health of body, not the look of flesh

2010-05-06T12:48:00.002-05:00

The last few weeks have seemed to pass by without intention or thought to mulitple common factors: eating, sleeping, conversations with Lindsay, my kids, and even the Lord (I am forever a Lutheran-sided Pietist). My lack of attention to daily turned toward a life-less crab, whereby persistence was more than difficult, presence with others was always absence, and ability to "get-up-and-go" on a daily basis was met with lethargy. This is neither who I am or desire to be, but for several weeks was caught towards living lifelessly.

Recognizing my imago CRABBY, I knew the answer to living lively; I returned to my desired practices of The Divine Hours, running (2.2 miles every other day), and turning off the laptop at least 30 minutes before bedtime (I am less able to accomplish the latter on a daily basis). These minor shifts have resulted in greater intention to life: eating, sleeping, and conversations with the church (specifically Harbert Community Church) and Lord.

I don't want to wade too far into the waters of how my body looks, yet since it was my whole body, flesh included, that was baptized, it is worth considering how the look of the vessel communicates the life of the body.... My eyes were sagging, my skin oily, and my demeanor sour. There was little on my outside to communicate the Easter season....the season of Practicing Resurrection.

I am turning to my health. This turn is not as an obsession with my flesh - losing weight, looking better, and fitting into my clothes - it is a desire to seek health of the body as a way of Practicing the Resurrection. To enact the gospel that calls us to love the world with our hands and feet. I am taking up the Hebrews charge and participating with God in "lifting your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed."

In a world obsessed with health for the sake of appearance, I am hesitant to begin the journey, for as Paul Holmer has said, "deep down we are very superficial." And I want to engage health for the sake of the body (ecclesial terms implied), but also recognize how easy it is to turn away from the church and world toward the glorification of the self, namely through the transforming of the flesh (while ignoring the body). THe Eucharist, baptism, and the Word made flesh invites a life of health - for the sake of the body.

My Son - Micah the Friend Maker

2010-04-20T20:27:00.000-05:00

Last week, Lindsay was away teaching Bible Study, and since I was at home with the sun shining at 64 degrees, Micah, Maddie and I went to the beach for an evening stroll. It was truly a wonderful time.

Once we finally wrestled down the beach stairs, removed our shoes (and Micah removed his pants), we began our leisurely stroll. It was more leisurely for some than others. Micah was not much for walking in a straight line. He would tack across the beach finding the largest rocks to throw in the water. Maddie had to ride on my shoulders in order to stay out of the water. We walked along the shore for a good hour, which only equaled the length of a football field or so (sailing was never an efficient travel method).

On the way back to the beach entrance we saw two people (quite a distance ahead), playing on the beach. I asked Micah, "who are they?", and his quick response was simply, "are those our friends? Our new Friends?" I wasn't sure, but he was. So the sailing ship turned into a sub-vessel as he made a bee-line for his new friends. As we approached, it was clear to me that we did not know them - they were strangers. But to Micah, he was convinced. He immediately went to them and stated, "Friends, How are you?" He proceeded to talk with them; ask their names; and even invite them for a walk.

I could not help but identify Micah with Peter in John 21, the story of Jesus and breakfast on the Beach. When John, the beloved one, tells Peter, "it's the Lord", Peter dresses himself and jumps into the lake to bee-line to Jesus, who calls us friends. I do love watching Micah unfold the mysteries of God for me. I can only hope my own practice will witness to the Resurrection as much as he does for me.....

By the way, Micah pooped on the potty today! Hooray!

The Internet and Ideological Spaces

2010-04-20T20:08:00.000-05:00

David Brooks of the NYT posted an opinion piece that challeneges the current viewpoint that the internet has created an ideological problem as users can subscribe only to content that fits their views. The ideology rhetoric often comes from the loss of the few big networks and media giants (which I think was a roadblock to Democratic space, itself). The new internet research shows that the network principles inherent to the tech spaces actually push users into "foreign" territory and require interaction with diverse and multiple ideologies.

Brooks' summarizes the argument well, and I look forward to encountering the earlier studies (the author, Sunstein works in the Obama Administration but was formerly at the University of Chicago) and the current research (authored by Matthew Gentzkow and Jesse M. Shapiro, two Business professors at the University of Chicago). I mostly look forward to comparing these studies with the theory and practices of Benkler's book (mentioned below), The Wealth of Networks.

I am most interested in how ideologies are generating such vicious speech, not merely in public squares, but also in tradition-ed communities, especially churches. Brooks concludes,

"If this study is correct, the Internet will not produce a cocooned public square, but a free-wheeling multilayered Mad Max public square. The study also suggests that if there is increased polarization (and there is), it’s probably not the Internet that’s causing it."

If his hunches are correct, and I hope they are - then there is possibility for cacophony amidst ideologies, which holds promise for both democratic and critical space - in churches, education, and possibly health care.... (one can hope on the latter, anyway).

At the same time, if his hunches are right, then how do we account for the rise of attention to ideology, hate speech, and community division? Romans 3 gets us thinking but I would like to see accounting for the rise of ideology in this late-modern age.

Three Books Worth Reading

2010-04-19T20:03:00.000-05:00

I am finding time to read now that the Lent and Holy Week season has passed. I have read the following three books in part (the Ward book in entirety), and I think they are worth reading for ecclesial purposes, but even if "church" isn't your concern, these texts have substantial implications for larger public or civil society questions.

Writing - Will it happen?

2010-04-17T09:52:00.002-05:00

So it’s decided in my head. I have been trying to write daily, but never am able to fulfill my desire. Until now. I have decided (in the lyrics of the great evangelist, Amy Grant) to begin each day with the Divine Hours and writing. I will use the format of a blog, and probably no one will read it but a few friends who graciously choose to humor me.

Regardless, I will most often respond to other writers, biblical texts, or even possibly commentary on my time in Tickle’s Divine Hours. Overtime, I hope to learn to make links to other topics I am quoting, but for now I will make reference and move on…the technology of a blog can all too easily get in the way of actually writing.

I am choosing to do this for three reasons. I enjoy writing. Writing is a centering activity. In a world that consumes content (the iPad, for which I lust, is a perfect example of how consuming content is primary over creating it).

I enjoy writing. When I take the time to outline, draft, edit, and “publish” I find a great deal of energy to continue the day. I also believe that a major focus of pastoral identity is communicating vision and prophetic possibility that requires a mighty pen (or keypad); as one description of ecclesial leadership noted, “a winsome voice, an appealing pen, and a congenial presence as the public face for this ecclesial space.” Writing, especially in public forums, is a place to uncover how important and difficult this kind of identity is to cultivate. I love to write, and it is my hope that in writing, I might more fully discover my voice, pen, and presence.

Writing centers the day. Often, I enter my office, take a deep breath and launch into the mundane, yet important tasks of church ministry. Quickly, I delve into details and minutiae that appear to have very little to do with the needs and desires of the church (signing statements, reviewing financials/stewardship statements, managing events, responding to emails granting permission to do ministry). The micro-management of the pastoral task seems to blunt the priestly, prophetic, and apostolic gifts expected of me. In other words, I enter my office and never step back to look over the balcony (ala Heifetz and Linsky). Writing as a centering practice offers a breath of space to reflect, wonder, and understand how the minutiae relate to the whole. Writing also reminds me of what I see, value, and desire.

I consume content, and I invest myself in trivial details. I think I am news-astute, but then at the end of the day, I know very little about the details…. Whether Haiti, Chile, or most recently the political unrest due to the Polish President’s plane crash. I read to consume; I desire to read for understanding – it is a shift from a tabloid mindset to a Thomas Friedman mindset. Writing invites me to think through the many messages that bombard me on Google News, BBC, and even facebook….. I am obese on information, and it is my hope that writing becomes my nutritional plan. Maybe my need to respond to the trivial world of content is simply because “deep down we are quite superficial” or because I think Neil Postman was right in his these of Amusing Ourselves to Death.

It is time for me to write, so this is my reminder, to myself, that it is in writing that I find love, center, and maturity. Only the days ahead of my writing will allow me to recognize if, indeed, writing has become more fully one spiritual practice.

Jason Byassee - View on Denominations

2010-04-17T09:43:00.003-05:00

Jason Byassee penned a helpful conversation on the place of denominations. My friend, Adam Phillips, sent Byassee’s comments to me, and his pen is quite appealing and his voice winsome. He argues clearly that mainline denominations (I can assume he was intentional in not naming all denominations) are withering, but they are neither lost nor unnecessary, namely on familial claims. He rehearses a powerful story of one man, in one denomination, doing work of relief for congregations around the world. The claim that denominations are collective agents for common work is both needed and encouraging. Denominations, as crippled and bureaucratic as they are, have a collective identity to hold diverse congregations together. When worship in America is a segregated hour, denomination’s have collective power to bring our racism, classicism, and myopia into a room and break out our prejudices….denominations are social networks of wealth (see The Wealth of Networks by Benkler). Sidenote: The Evangelical Covenant Church began in exactly this manner - a collection of inter-dependent congregations for the sake of worship, fellowship, education, and mission.

I might use networking metaphors more than Byassee’s familial grammars, yet none-the-less, he is thinking about denominations in a way that is constructive not repulsive. He sees denominations in a redemptive posture not one of death. His hermeneutic of ecclesial organizations is one to watch, and I would say transfer to other such places, including local congregations and structures, seminaries and divinity schools, and even American political mechanisms (the last one is more difficult to admit).

In the end, Byassee is creating a helpful trajectory, a theological one that recognizes God is alive, he is risen, and God can make once withering denominations resurrected collective agents of the Spirit. Byassee’s trajectory for denominations desires life where many have decried death. I think it's worthwhile, especially since like it or not, The Covenant Church is, as Byassee writes, "the only family you've got."

Somewhere between Life and Death

2009-11-27T21:55:00.004-06:00

I should have realized that I would eat my words a few weeks ago. I was in the fourth month of my work as co-pastor at Harbert Community Church. I flippantly mentioned to our choir director how much I enjoyed the job, but Monday-Friday went slower than I desired. This was three weeks ago.....

As of Sunday night, I will have had two funerals, two interments, a beloved man in the hospital facing a difficult recovery, Sunday School, Worship, with a sermon, and an evening Membership Class. I want four weeks ago back....famous last words.

But I am not complaining. In officiating two funerals, I have had a chance to reflect on many things. I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid of leaving people behind. I desire to pass before I get too grumpy (though my wife might say it's too late, especially on Saturday nights). I have also recognized that despite people's criticisms of the church, in whatever form it takes, this is the place to live and die. We remember rightly. We remember to forgive, to bless, and to honor the priestly lives we live, albeit imperfectly.

I have never met either of the two women I buried this week. But I have met their families. The generations of faithfulness have been incredible. Also, the great cloud of witnesses that attended the funerals - family and friends - have appeared to share a similar faith - or at least willingness to honor the faith of the Triumphant Saints. This was enriching as we enter Advent and Christmas. I think when a saint of the church dies, their new life is entered not merely by a heavenly life, but also by the new life the living saints are called to cultivate. Death has no sting for the celebration of the resurrection is a time to remind the living saints how to live - As disciples of God in the way of Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit - iiving with compassion, mercy, kindness and forgiveness - justice simply flows out of this.

I've been reminded twice this week to live faithfully, not perfectly. May the God who raises the dead to live, revive my own life to live with your resurrection power each day.

I don't mind the chaos of the schedule now, but I will be thankful for the season of Epiphany!

from Freedom in Fatherhood to Reality in Reverend

2009-10-15T14:05:00.003-05:00

It has been longer than I can admit since I last posted on this blog. Last time I posted, Madeline was non-mobile, Micah never talked back and drank from a sippy cup, and I was eager to begin a new work with Lindsay at Harbert Community Church. It was indeed a quiet but exciting time.

Today, I am in our almost settled office, fully installed as co-pastor, facing my first wedding, and preparing a sermon on the Syro-phoenician woman (Mark 7). I enjoyed the timing of the last post....

There is something about those days when I was an associate with clear responsibilities, expectations of writing, and freedom not to concern with organizational outcomes, financial goals, and the overall organization of the church. The freedom that there was someone else to look to for the final answers (and to blame for the shortcomings) is gone; it is even missed and revered. This new location as co-pastor is daunting more and more each day.

I sit here and write a sermon with hopes of the voices in my head subsiding. They don't. the voices come over the shoulders or from under the chair and remind me what small but important tasks i have forgotten to do. Those tasks I do remember sometimes go in a direction I least expected. And here I am trying to balance my successes and insecurities that come with the life of pastoral ministry.

And then there is the home down the street where Micah and Madeline rest and play. They grow during my time away from the house, and new and exciting adventures occur that I miss simply because I am here. This is not a lament, but a reminder that I must do important and substantial work during these hours, otherwise the work of fatherhood is missed for worthless labors. Indeed, the reality of reverend must match the importance of the freedom in fatherhood. One cannot overshadow the other, but I want them to match - fatherhood and reverendhood. If so, then I think being a husband has a fruitful identity, also. So I return to writing and wondering on the good news for this week, knowing that the Good News will fulfill my vocations - hopefully it will help others fulfill theirs as well.

Beginning Anew

2009-06-16T12:52:00.002-05:00

After six years of church ministry in Minnesota, I was pretty sure I knew what happened on a church staff, but after two days of work, I am realizing how much I need to learn. I sit in my office and wonder how in the world will we do this pastoral ministry thing, especially with two children, a new home, selling our old home, and everything else? It appears overwhelming, yet it also comes with great excitement.

After two days, I have learned one thing about being a pastor at Harbert Church - listen to stories. The church laughs at its average age (let's just say that Lindsay and I drop the number a few years), yet its age is its asset. There are more stories of life, wisdom, and redemption than I ever imagined. It is quite rich. So we will move on from here listening to stories, celebrating God's story and praying that our narratives will intersect more often than not.

m&m's

2008-12-07T20:19:00.002-06:00

Madeline's First Days

2008-12-07T19:49:00.007-06:00

Well I have heard from some of my Daddys friends (namely Kim G) that I haven't been writing as much about Madeline as my dad wrote about me. Two things: 1) I am a busy little boy who takes naps, chases balls, and watches Sesame Street 2) My dad is a computer hog, so I can only write when he gets out of my way.

But for the fans of the blog out there (and I am grateful for each and every one of you) here is a new update on baby sister.

Madeline is doing really well from my perspective. She eats better than I did, goes to the bathroom about the same amount, and sleeps a little less. Overall, we are equal in gifts, albeit different. I think my parents should keep her. She evens has some of the same adorable qualities that I have (see photos).

The first week has been wonderful. Mom and Dad seem protective of Maddie when I hold her because they think I squeeze her head to hard, but I just want her to know that I love her. And I figure that as long as she isn't screaming, she is fine....she makes more noise when she is supposed to be sleeping in her crib than she does when I squeeze her.

Speaking of screaming.....when I go to bed, I quickly and quietly hug my bear and fall asleep...angelic, if I may say so. When Baby Madeline goes to bed, she screams and squawks all night long. I will teach her to sleep soon, but I will let her keep my parents up for few more weeks. I think it will build their character.

Also, Grover-dog is no longer with us. He will return, I am told, but he is currently with our dear friends the Johnson's. They will take good care of him, I am sure. It makes supper clean up a bit longer than usual, and daddy gets really red when I throw food. If I throw more than once, he sits me on the "stool" and talks to me at eye-level with this grumpy-man voice. I think I am in trouble, but I am not sure of how that works yet. Anyway....he loves me!

Enjoy the photos!

Because she is Beautiful

2008-11-29T18:05:00.003-06:00

Superheros

2008-11-29T17:46:00.003-06:00

Thanksgiving became an unexpected event in so many ways. Mommor and Farmor Armfield were supposed to arrive with Uncles Matt and Ben for Thanksgiving. But they had to stay and say goodbye to Nunie. This bittersweet day was filled with new life and resurrection.

My other grandparents dropped what they were doing for thanksgiving and flew (drove) here from Omaha. They arrived as if they were superheros. They managed me so that mommy and daddy could stay at the hopsital with Baby Madeline. It worked out perfectly. Mormor and Farmor will come to see us next week. I have superheros for grandparents....now I need to think of superhero names and costumes.

Maddie's first visitors

2008-11-29T16:49:00.003-06:00

Maddie had many visitors. Even though it was a holiday weekend, people came to visit my little sister, including my buddies, Petra (P) and Ammi.

Baby Madeline...Not Early, Just in Time

2008-11-29T16:19:00.006-06:00

Madeline Ada Small was born Wednesday morning, November 26, 2008 at 2:02 pm. She was 6lbs 15 oz, and 18 inches long. This is a significant difference from her monster truc brother, who weighed in at 9lbs with 3 lbs of hair. Lindsay began having contractions around 6am, but thought this was false labor and would require the "Walk of shame" at the hospital when she would be sent home. However, her fears were dashed when the doctor and nurses concurred that this day was indeed labor day....

We took Micah to the Mrosko's house, which was perfect because Rachel and Jacob were home for the holidays from school, so Jaci had some much excited help! Thank you to the Mrosko's for watching Micah (and for letting out the dog, Grover). We arrived at the hospital around 9am. The contractions hastened, and by 11:30, we were preparing for labor (which was projected to occur around 4 or 5pm). At 1:30, Lindsay experienced significant pain, she pushed for the first time at 1:5 and Baby Maddie was born seven minutes later at 2:02. What a rush. Lindsay was tired, but the onlookers were simply impressed by the pace at which Lindsay finished the job.

The birth of Baby Madeline was not the only event for our family. During the birth of Madeline Ada Small another event was occuring in Michigan. Lindsay's grandma, Eunice Ada Lindblom was preparing for eternal rest. Nunie, as Lindsay calls her, had experienced a fall some weeks ago, and she had been suffering since. at 6:30 on Wednesday, Nunie departed this earth for resurrection rest. This day is filled with the wonders of life - the journey of birth and death. The wonder of both events is found in our Creator, the Triune God.

Nunie's funeral was on Saturday morning, and though we could not be there, we remember Nunie as the gracious, hospitable, and generous grandmother. Peace to her.

Here are the pictures of Maddie's first hours.

I'm back

2008-11-29T15:43:00.007-06:00

Well friends and family. It has been some time since I last wrote to you all. Many of you may know that Halloween and Thanksgiving have now passed and we are staring towards Advent (which begin tomorrow). I have been quite overwhelmed as of late awaiting my baby sister (who isn't supposed to be here yet, but she decided to come early!) Let me fill you in on my little life before I let you in on my new little sister.

1. Halloween happened: I enjoyed my second halloween. Last year I was a giraffe (see blog entry for October 2007), and this year I was a medical doctor in the persuasion of my uncle Matt. He gifted me a pair of scrubs from medical school, and my friend Petra gifted the equipment. I went to a local halloween party with mommy, Petra and the Causton parents (minus Ammi - more on my new friend later). Anyway, I was able to score free candy and several multi-colored balloons.

2. Ammi arrived from Ko-wea (I think it is actually spelled "Korea" but Petra taught me to say it "Ko-wea"). Ammi, Petra's baby sister, arrived home on November 14. We went to visit her at the airport. I am quite excited to have her around. She is a CUTIE! We have had dinner a couple of times together, and I think we will get along just fine. She doesn't come to Jan's house yet, but when she does, I will teach her how to tap dance and play football...we should be good buddies by spring time.

3. The Dinner Time Spa: I have come to realize that dinner time can always be accompanied by bathtime (my favorite) if I simply apply dinner to my hair and face. As you will see, my shiny and beautiful hair is partlyy due to my bi-weekly application of vanilla yogurt. I enjoy this routine, and it seems that my parents don't mind because they continue to snap pictures of these edible moments.

4. THanksgiving....an odd holiday: Thanksgiving was Thursday, and I was looking forward to turkey, potatoes, a nap, and some pecan pie. I thought I would relax with Mommy on Wednesday to prepare, maybe even run a couple of errands, but this did not happen. Instead, I was awoken from my t-day preparatory slumber Wednesday morning, dressed and whisked out of the house early in the morning. Instead of traveling to Jan's house, I went to Rachel and Jacob's house for the morning. I spent the afternoon with Jan, and then I ended the day by a long trip to Waconia (my birthplace). When I arrived, I was greeted by the unexpected--my parents. I had more questions than answers ( I still have more questions three days later). There in my mother's arms was a little person. She would not put the baby down, and she proceeded to feed the baby similarly to how she used to feed me....I am not exactly sure how to respond, but it looks like this little thing is sticking around. It appears that the little baby that I met at the hospital has indeed returned home and sleeps in my parents room. If I would have know that I was testing her bed a few weeks ago, I would have been more careful and thorough. I simply thought this was my second crib. Anyway, these are pictures pre-baby. I will add more photos of Baby MAdeline in forthcoming posts.

Enjoy.

Here are more general photos of the last month or so. I have been busy growing and getting ready to be a big brother.

ROAD TRIP with dad

2008-10-12T19:55:00.010-05:00

Well, I knew the day would come when dad and I would leave mommy and the house behind for our first father-son trip. Little did I know the day would come so early in my life and in a mini-van to boot. WE packed up the ol' family van on Friday morning (mommy was eager to get us packed and out the door), and we went to Great Grandma McCabe's 75th birthday party in Sioux Falls, SD. I can't believe mom trusted dad to feed me, watch me, and dress me (in appropriate clothing) for three days. But away we went on our first road trip!

I love road trips. Movies play, naps are to be had, and Burger King is for lunch. I love the endless supply of ketchup and fries (they come in a box called a frypod - can you believe my dad let me eat this stuff?) We arrived in Sioux Falls at 3pm and went to see Althea's parents, Dawn and Andrew Burnett at the church. I played in the nursery for two hours, and Dawn, Andrew, and daddy would pick up after my mess! This is the life! Finally, we ended up at Great grandma and papa's house for sloppy joes and apples.

I love the road trip. I was so excited about the day that I refused to go to bed. I stayed up until 10pm while grandma Terri and daddy tried to get me to sleep. Papa small disappeared to read a book. He returned in the morning.

On Saturday morning, dad was craving coffee (no big surprise) so we went to Hy-Vee for breakfast and a starbucks (sometimes dad is a yuppie). We also found a firetruck and the firemen were busy eating, so my cousin, Carter, and I played on it. After that we went for a walk at Augustana College - "a premier school in a premier city"...or so they say

The hotel we stayed at had a pool with a slide, a pirate ship, and a basketball hoop. I swam until my feet pruned. I had so much fun, I would only sleep in the car between exciting events. Saturday night included pizza, a Husker's loss and more swimming - oh, did I mention the pre-bedtime cake? Road Trips rule!

On Sunday I went to daddy's old church, Prairie Hills Covenant. What a great place. It was like everyone knew me. I went to the nursery again, and Anna (my new girlfriend) held me for one whole hour, and she fed me animal crackers. Woo-Hoo. I was living high-on-the-hog (Anna's dad is a farmer, he knows what I mean). It was fun to be at Prairie Hills - everyone is very kind. Also, I got to meet Dawn and Andrew's child, Althea - she is awesome. She is more intense than me....I think dad was trying to set us up - he always says, "kids will appreciate arranged marriages in the long run - freedom of choice is always a myth..." When he talks like this, I rarely know what he means.

We ended with a family lunch and then returned home. I love seeing my mommy. She loves me and holds me, and says the right things. I had a great road trip, but I am glad to be back!

Have a great week. ~Micah

My daddy ran a marathon...in the rain

2008-10-12T19:33:00.003-05:00

I woke up last Sunday morning to a missing father. I kept yelling to mommy that "daaaddddyy is gone" but she oddly looked at me as if she didn't understand my speech. Anyway, I came to find out that he was running a marathon (which is a big word that means "a long distance"). We went to watch daddy. At first I wondered if he was running away from home, and I thought mommy, grandma, papa and I were going to bring him back. But then he ran toward us, and when we saw him, mommy cheered him on and let him run right past us (see picture of me pointing as he leaves us). Come to find out, he was not running away from home nor was anyone chasing him, but daddy was running a race. Anyway, from start to finish he took 4.10.42 to run that marathon. Good job daddy. The world thinks you are crazy. (and you missed church).

Petra's daddy, Jeff, ran the marathon really fast - 3.55. Good job Jeff. You are even more crazy.

At the end of the race, the runners were cold and cranky. Everyone had a grimace and looked like the grumpy dwarf. Dad wasn't grumpy but delerious. WHen we found him at the finish, he was wearing aluminum foil and a fleece blanket, and he did not look good. For the next seven days he limped around the house, and he refused to carry me down the stairs - which meant that my pregnant mom had to do the work of carrying me...hmmm???

It was a wonderful day - the rain and cold did not break the spirits of the runners or the spectators. Everyone ended the day with beer, sandwiches and friends. What a day!

Being a mommy is wonderful, too.

2008-08-24T21:53:00.005-05:00

In order to honor the woman behind the camera, I want to show the joyful pictures of motherhood as well as the plethora of fatherhood photos...

father and son in Grand Marais - does it get any better?

2008-08-21T22:34:00.004-05:00

more photos

2008-08-21T22:21:00.004-05:00

Remember last year?

2008-08-18T21:44:00.004-05:00

there is nothing better than being a dad.

~Micah's dad

18 mile run

2008-08-16T10:55:00.003-05:00

I had the most beautiful and difficult run of my life on Friday - 18 miles with a 1000 foot ascent and descent....glad that is over.

more pics of GM

2008-08-14T15:46:00.004-05:00

Well, we went for a drive today to map out dad's morning run. Mom wanted to stop and see more rocks, so we took a short detour. These are the pictures. The rocks at this place were too big to put in my mouth, so mom and dad were relieved. Since I couldn't eat rocks, this allowed my parents to play a game together. Mom would throw rocks to dad and he would swing at them with a big stick. I am too little for this type of activity - maybe next year I can teach my kid sister how to do it.

As always, enjoy our photos.

Day 4 in Grand Marais

2008-08-13T20:22:00.004-05:00

I am sleepy, so I will just give you the daily photos and itinerary.

8 am - Dad ran 10 miles
9:30 - we met for dounts and coffee (talked to a kind Lutheran pastor and friends about quilting)
10:30 - another nap
11:30 - went to grocery store to buy pancake mix
12:00 - lunch at home - including blueberries
1-4 car ride to Nanibijou and Hovland (I was tired on the way home, but there was no need to sleep)
4:00 - mom and dad tried to make me nap - I won
4:30 - went for walk, ate rocks, got coffee, and had an early dinner at Angry Trout - I got the leftover corn
5:30 - played in the cabin until bedtime

Enjoy your evening.
Micah -

Day 3 in Grand Marais

2008-08-13T20:03:00.004-05:00

I love it here, even though I miss seeing Jan and Petra during the day.

Every morning we start with donuts and coffee and a long walk (or ride). However, my stroller is facing some technical difficulties, and so I am able to walk along the sidewalks more and more.

Yesterday dad took me to a place called Adventurous Christians to visit Mike Nelson. He has a son named Aulis (It's Finish I think), and they live in a gorgeous place. There are trees and canoes and dogs and big mosquitos, and saunas, and all kinds of places to walk. It was a great trip, even though Aulis and his mom, Nicole, were at the doctor's office (they were probably giving shots - yuck).

Anyway, dad and I returned back to the cabin to see mom, and we had lunch on our deck from Hughies - the taco shack. Highly recommended. After lunch they shoved me in my crib and made me sleep. I keep saying "no" and shaking my head, but they still put me in the crib.

In the afternoon, we went for a walk and threw more rocks. They are the perfect size for my mouth, so I tried eting them much to mom and dad's chagrin. I think that there must be some nutrious value, but mom and dad keep saying "throw don't eat, please."

After they were fed up with my eating rocks (no pun intended), we went to Artist's Point, one of my parents favorite places. We walked around and saw the sun, threw more rocks, and ended up at Dockside for a relaxing meal of smoked fish, chowder and chips. We sat on the deck and watched the schooner come in and the sun go to sleep.

Enjoy the pics.

Grand Marais - too much fun

2008-08-13T19:41:00.004-05:00

Well, there is at least one grandmother who will be grateful for the return to the blog. I apologize that I have not been more faithful to bring my one-year-old to the computer to write more first hand accounts of his exciting life. Welcome back, Monkey.

I awoke Sunday morning to go to church and take a nap on the way home, as I usually do, but much to my surprise when I woke up several hours later, we were on our way to the great forest (I came here last year, too). We arrived in Grand Marais, and my mommy and daddy were surprisingly happy considering the long drive. We ate our first (but not our last) meal at the Angry Trout - what a joy, They have this wild rice medley with celery and peas and cranberries -mmmmmmmmm. See the picture of my enjoyment!

On Monday morning I was so excited to get the day started that I woke up mommy and daddy at 3am. For some reason they were less appreciative, and they made me sleep in their bed (I have never done this before, and based on daddy's mumbling, I think it will be the last time). They finally got out of bed at 6am, and we headed to dad's favorite coffee shop - The JavaMoose - for his 8 shots of espresso and tiny bit of hot water. Then we headed down to the family favorite "World's Best Donut Shop." Mommy had a cinnamon and sugar and powdered sugar donut; daddy had two chocolate, and I was fortunate enough to have my first official donut, albeit plain. (It is my first official because I am pretty sure I have eaten similar circular breads with Daddy at Byerlys....).

What a morning. After donuts, daddy ran and mommy and I rested. Then dad returned and he rested. What a life we live.

We played the rest of the day, and I threw tons of rocks into Lake SUperior. Dad would skip rocks - he is probably the best rock skipper in the world. He kept telling me to tell my friends when I go to kindergarten - whenever he said this mommy would roll her eyes.

Enjoy the photos.

photos - (a second new post is below these photos)

2008-06-08T23:20:00.007-05:00

My first year - a few of my favorite things (and a surprise)

2008-06-08T22:37:00.009-05:00

Well on Saturday I will officially turn one-year old. That's the thing about zeros - our age is based on accomplishment. When I turn one, I celebrate one completed year of life. If I was born one, then a birthday would look to unfinished work; instead I celebrate one year of accomplishments.

My birthday is on flag day - Tom Weiland's favorite day. Not only is it Flag Day, but more importantly, it is the Feast Day of the Cappadocian Fathers, who are responsible for upholding the doctrine of the Trinity amidst heresies and conflicts. They did other stuff to, but all my dad talks about is the Trinity, so I will probably do the same.

Here are a few of the highlights of my first year of life:

I had six colds
i slept in until 6:55am one day
I learned to crawl
I have the world's best babysitters (thanks Jan, Dee, Anna and the many others who care for me)
In one day I change my clothes as many times as Sara Jessica Parker in her new movie (I'm not allowed to say the title)
My thighs are 10x the normal size of other 1 year olds
I grew out of my car seat at six months
I interrupted the pastor during worship at church
I traveled on 15 airplanes (Nebraska, Michigan, Florida), and drove to Omaha and Northern Minnesota several times
I stood behind the pulpit at church
I had a bite of a chocolate donut (thanks dad)
I ate orange, green, and purple food out of plastic tubs
I upgraded from tub-food to blueberries, chicken strips, and chopped carrots
I can drink from several types of vessels - bottle, sippy cups, straw-laden cups, and I am starting to drink from a glass
8 children were born in our church this year and six of them are girls

I learned to walk this week

and finally.... the best highlight of my first year of life.... MOMMY IS PREGNANT WITH MY YOUNGER SIBLING! The baby is due December 8, 2008. Cha-ching - a full year of tax deduction (I only contributed six months).

So seriously, congrats to mom - she still looks a little confused on how we are going to manage a little sibling, but I tell mom not to worry, dad will take care of it. She always laughs (and cries) when I say that.

Happy Birthday to everyone (whenever it is - you completed another 365 days of joyous living!

Micah

Thus saith the Lord....

2008-05-12T22:54:00.002-05:00

Well I am "so big" these days or so everyone seems to tell me. In accomplishment of my
"so bigness" I decided to step up behind the pulpit at church and say a few words. It was pentecost so what appeared to be jibber-jabber to many was possibly a tongue of fire... It was before 9 o'clock in the morning, so drunkenness was not an option for people to claim.

I hope all is well with you, and may God's spirit pour forth on the earth reckoning justice and liberation for all peoples. Keep in your prayers the people of Myanmar, China, and the Midsouth, especially Missouri and Oklahoma. Come Holy Spirit come and heal the land.

More pictures for fun...

2008-04-15T23:24:00.001-05:00

Why I'll be in therapy someday....

2008-04-15T22:55:00.004-05:00

1. I'm not wearing pants, but I AM wearing a tie.
2. I'm reading a book on something that will never happen to me.
3. My hairdo is a hair don't!

But for the time being, I love photo shoots. Thanks to Anna for the makeover!!!

Our Sunny Vacation

2008-04-09T06:16:00.002-05:00

Greetings everyone from Florida! We've had a great time on vacation. My mom and dad brought me to the ocean. I saw dolphins! They looked like they were having a good time. I've also been swimming every day. I like to splash my mom and dad. Dad has been golfing three times. He says he can't wait until I can golf with him so I'm practicing my hand/eye coordination...usually in the form of hand to mouth coordination! Enjoy the pictures!

madras are in!

2008-03-23T23:12:00.002-05:00

My buddy the lion

2008-03-23T22:41:00.005-05:00

The other day I discovered a big, soft, friendly lion in my room. I went over and roared at him, but he did not roar back, so I gave him a kiss. He is a kind fellow, and he seems to have a heart of courage - just like the one I saw on television in Technicolor.

Well, you have a courageous day, and make sure to have your brains, your heart, and a memory from home, too.

EASTER

2008-03-23T22:26:00.005-05:00

Well it has been some time since I last wrote, but I am growing bigger everyday, and I have learned to walk in circles in both directions thanks to my friend, Sarah Swanson - she coaxes me into new things with Cheerios. I enjoyed today, and I celebrate the gospel story: The God of Israel raised his servant Jesus from the dead. What a great story that we are enfolded into!

Well, here are some pictures from the last week or so highlighting my mobility, and I hope all is well with you this Eastertide.

Micah

More Pictures...

2008-03-17T20:10:00.000-05:00

2008-03-06T10:04:00.003-06:00

I thought I would show you a little bit of what I've been doing over the past few weeks. Mom and Dad brought me to a great place called Covenant Pines. I had a great mode of transportation...a cool red sled from my friend Petra. Mom also used a backpack...it was easy living up at camp! I've been really working on my own mode of transportation as well...I am officially crawling! Crawling is okay, I guess, but I would much rather walk. My favorite thing is to stand up against the coffee table and work my way around the entire thing. There's some new things around the house that I've noticed...a gate at the top of the stairs and some weird looking things over the outlets. I guess it's because I'm a pretty curious guy...my new favorite toy, after all, is mom's cell phone. Anyway, hope you're all doing great! Love, Micah

video

2008-03-02T11:42:00.003-06:00